Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Resolutions

I keep pausing throughout my day thinking, "are you following through on your resolutions?" Funny thing is I didn't make any resolutions for 2010. But the act of having a huge list of things I want to do better or things I want to change is apparently so ingrained in me that even when I don't make resolutions my mind seems to believe that I have.

But this year I made a manifesto. A mission statement if you will. (I posted it in early December if you need a reference.) And it is taped to my bathroom mirror and I read it daily. To remind myself of the direction that I want to go in. This year I understand that there isn't a magic wand that will help me tone up. There isn't a pill that I can take to have more time in my day. There isn't a new drink that will make me happier. No magic potions or wands will ever help me achieve my goals. And achieving my goals is not a destination but a journey. I had a huge case of the "if's." You know the "if's." If my stomach was flatter, I would be happier. Or if I had more money, then XYZ would happen. Or if so-and-so would just behave, then LMNOP would happen. But what does my stomach have to do with my mental state? I could have all of the money in the world and still not be a good steward of it. And how can I let someone else's actions control my happiness? By always relying on the if's, I allowed myself to be off the hook. I wasn't to blame for not living up to my potential because the if's were holding me back, right? Bullshit! I was holding me back.

So this year, there are no resolutions. No pressing deadlines. No unnecessary pressures. I will achieve my goals and then set new ones. The journey may be bumpy, I may even walk in circles sometimes, but guess what? This year I will enjoy the trip.

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