This is an actual recap of a situation that happened to me recently. I had a repairman over to the house. He looked in my living room and noticed a double stroller. He made the comment, "You have twins?" I answered in the affirmative. He then asked the obvious followup question, "How old are they?" Again I give an honest answer, "11 weeks old." And the repairman says, "Wow! You look great to have 3 month old twins!"
Yeah. I know awkward. But how do I answer that question? Do I have twins? Yes. Think what you may, say what you want, but this is the way I think. If my husband and I are to truly restore and be one then how can there be a division of yours, mine, and ours? In my mind, there can't be a separation of the kids. If we are one, then those are our kids when they are in this home. Period. That's my train of thought on this situation - and really that's the only train that matters. So, when someone asks me how many kids we have, the answer is 4. And when the repairman asks, "You have twins?" I answer in the affirmative. Got it? Good.
But I am not going to go into a spiritual discussion about marriage and one-ness with the repairman in my living room. He really doesn't need the family history lesson. And I am ok with that, but when he said "you look great to have 3 month old twins" I felt a bit disingenuous. I looked great that day - period. I really did. And I know what his statement was saying, "you look great to have been pregnant just 3 months ago and you have already lost the weight and are standing here cute-d up." You know that's what he meant. So that is why I felt a bit like a liar that day, because I knew that I didn't really meet his litmus test.
But here I am a few days out and I have to think that "Hell Yeah! I look great for having 3 month old twins!" Because damn it, I do. I look great to be still married. I look ravishing to have kept my sanity. I am too cute because I am standing here in regular clothes and not wearing an orange jumpsuit and in jail. I do look amazing to have kept working EVERY day through this situation. I look superfine to have fortified my faith in the midst of trials. I look fantastic draped in love, forgiveness, and restoration.
So I guess I wasn't lying.. and from now on I will just reply, "Thank You."