I am not going to sit up here and act like I've always been saved. I haven't. I've always believed in God but I haven't always been in relationship with God. Do I think that I wasted a lot of time wandering in the dark? Yes. But would I trade that dark time? Nope. Why? Because it taught me so much.
Indulge me if you will. On the spiritual evolutionary scale, I started out as pond scum. But now according to my own Biblical Darwinism, I think I am a tadpole. I aspire to one day grow out of the swamp. But I've made progress. Serious progress. And I am proud of that progress. Thankful for that progress. Excited about that progress. But just the other day, someone told me that my communication style wasn't were it should be. Do I think this person was being malicious? Nope. But did it hurt my feelings briefly? Yep. It felt as though my tadpole-isms were annoying someone who was already spiritually walking on all four. But if they only knew how badly it hurt and what God took me through to get me to this seemingly rudimentary stage, they would never negate my journey or my methods. The fact that they are spiritually walking on all four is a testament to how good God has been to them, but has nothing to do with my journey. My mouth is my mouth. My words are my words. And here is the one thing that I think that some people forget when they reach a certain spiritual level: While I may get on their nerves with my lack of walking, I am giving hope to those still swimming in the pond.
So forgive me if I am a bit unrefined or rough around the edges even. My methods, word choice, amd terminology will evolve as I evolve. But right now I'm just a tadpole trying to save the folks still in the pond.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
A Tale of Two Men ***Fiction****
I am currently in love with two men. There I said it out loud. I readily admit it. As my grandma would say I've gotten myself into a pickle. How could this happen? Well, it started off quite simply. I never expected to find myself in this situation, but so much can happen when you aren't looking. Especially when you aren't seeing clearly. I guess that's how I ended up here... confused, conflicted. Maybe you'll understand when I tell you about them.
Let me tell you about ??? first. I've known ??? for what seems like forever. He was the kindest, sweetest, nicest guy I've ever known. And cute. Really cute. I know cute isn't the manliest of words to use, but when I met him he wasn't yet a man. He was a boy, a very cute boy. And his smile.. it would light up a room. We were inseparable. If you saw one of us, you saw the other. And the sex. Timidly amazing. Everyone wants you to believe that they were a porn star from birth, but that's never the truth. ??? was that person who knew as much or as little as I did and was willing to try everything. Every time we were together it was like learning a foreign language. You know what I mean? You falter and stumble with the language at first, but slowly and surely you become fluent in a beautiful new tongue. That's how our love was. It was me and him against the world. Sounds great, right? So what happened? Life happened. Boys become men and girls become women. Time changes so much. Idealism faded away to realism. Dreams gave way to 9 to 5's. Dorm rooms turned into mortgages. And fun faded into.. I don't know. I think we both got to the point where we were more concerned with making a living than actually living. Don't get me wrong. We are still very much together. Re-evaluating and trying to rekindle. And the love is still there. The love is worth fighting for, right?
Of course in the midst of fighting for my relationship with ???, XXX had to come into the picture. XXX is amazing. Manly is the word that describes him. He is kind, affectionate, wise and manly. That word comes up again - manly. But there is no better way to describe him. His broad shoulders and strong hands give you that feeling of protection. Like no matter what storms may come you know that he would fight to the death to protect you. XXX is a guy that has lived. He's made many mistakes yet instead of repeating them, he's learned from them. He's gained wisdom from them and he uses that knowledge daily. He values time with me, because he knows how valuable I am. He's dated others and understands/appreciates the type of mate that I am.
And I promise I wasn't looking for XXX. I really wasn't. I was so caught up with ??? that I didn't even think about the XXX-type. But slowly, I began to run into XXX. Random places we would cross paths. Church. The park. At Starbucks. And at first meeting, it was just a smile. Then it grew into a wave. Next, a conversation. But that doesn't negate ???. I love ??? more than ever, but my desire for XXX is growing. I really do love them both. So what's a woman to do? How do you look forward while your history is somewhere else? How can you be in love with two men?
****NOTE: This is a work of fiction ****
Let me tell you about ??? first. I've known ??? for what seems like forever. He was the kindest, sweetest, nicest guy I've ever known. And cute. Really cute. I know cute isn't the manliest of words to use, but when I met him he wasn't yet a man. He was a boy, a very cute boy. And his smile.. it would light up a room. We were inseparable. If you saw one of us, you saw the other. And the sex. Timidly amazing. Everyone wants you to believe that they were a porn star from birth, but that's never the truth. ??? was that person who knew as much or as little as I did and was willing to try everything. Every time we were together it was like learning a foreign language. You know what I mean? You falter and stumble with the language at first, but slowly and surely you become fluent in a beautiful new tongue. That's how our love was. It was me and him against the world. Sounds great, right? So what happened? Life happened. Boys become men and girls become women. Time changes so much. Idealism faded away to realism. Dreams gave way to 9 to 5's. Dorm rooms turned into mortgages. And fun faded into.. I don't know. I think we both got to the point where we were more concerned with making a living than actually living. Don't get me wrong. We are still very much together. Re-evaluating and trying to rekindle. And the love is still there. The love is worth fighting for, right?
Of course in the midst of fighting for my relationship with ???, XXX had to come into the picture. XXX is amazing. Manly is the word that describes him. He is kind, affectionate, wise and manly. That word comes up again - manly. But there is no better way to describe him. His broad shoulders and strong hands give you that feeling of protection. Like no matter what storms may come you know that he would fight to the death to protect you. XXX is a guy that has lived. He's made many mistakes yet instead of repeating them, he's learned from them. He's gained wisdom from them and he uses that knowledge daily. He values time with me, because he knows how valuable I am. He's dated others and understands/appreciates the type of mate that I am.
And I promise I wasn't looking for XXX. I really wasn't. I was so caught up with ??? that I didn't even think about the XXX-type. But slowly, I began to run into XXX. Random places we would cross paths. Church. The park. At Starbucks. And at first meeting, it was just a smile. Then it grew into a wave. Next, a conversation. But that doesn't negate ???. I love ??? more than ever, but my desire for XXX is growing. I really do love them both. So what's a woman to do? How do you look forward while your history is somewhere else? How can you be in love with two men?
****NOTE: This is a work of fiction ****
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Re-Post Kinda... Restore
Turn it up. Listen to the words. "He saw the best in me..." Wow. Why does God see the best in us? Because He made us and God doesn't make crap. Is that blunt enough for you? We can choose to do crappy things because we are always warring with our flesh. But God did not make crap. I have done bad things - some public and some not, but I am not bad. God sees me doing things that I have not even thought about yet. He has a vision for how I play a role in the Kingdom that is so important that He took the time and made me specificlly for that purpose. Amazing.
No matter what you have done. No matter what you have smoked/drank/slept with/etc God will restore you to your original position - as His child and as His creation. Don't believe me? Open your bible.
Joel 2:25-26 says this:
25 "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm [a]—
my great army that I sent among you.
26 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.
Not enough? Well, what about this one. Acts 26:18 "18to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.'" What is that I see? Forgiveness and returning to your Godly place.
Or what about Daniel 3, the Three Hebrew boys in the furnace. The Word says that they came out not even smelling like smoke. God will deliver you and you won't even smell/look like what you were before.
Why? Because God made you. God loves you and God wants you back.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
In Love and Staying There
A friend and I were talking about the fleeting nature of being in love and the amazing choice to choose love daily. Don't be fooled, they are not the same thing. Falling in love means that you can fall out of love as well. Here is what falling in love feels like:
To quote a film - one of my favorites:
"All of these people running around here jumping, skipping, falling in love...falling in love ain't shit. Somebody talke to PLEASE about how to stay there..." (Love Jones)
I do believe that too many people only sign on to relationships for the highs. But it is the lows that take your relationship to the next level. Who can't be in love when it's new and fresh and fun? But can you be loving through a terminal illness. Can you be loving through hard financial times? Can you be loving through valleys and lows?
Don't get me wrong, love isn't a prison sentence. Something to be simply endured. Love is doing things you at times don't want to do just to see the other person smile. And that smile is payment enough. Love is saying I would rather die then to cause you pain. Love is being so angry with someones actions, but loving them in spite of them. That is love. That is biblical love.
To quote a film - one of my favorites:
"All of these people running around here jumping, skipping, falling in love...falling in love ain't shit. Somebody talke to PLEASE about how to stay there..." (Love Jones)
I do believe that too many people only sign on to relationships for the highs. But it is the lows that take your relationship to the next level. Who can't be in love when it's new and fresh and fun? But can you be loving through a terminal illness. Can you be loving through hard financial times? Can you be loving through valleys and lows?
Don't get me wrong, love isn't a prison sentence. Something to be simply endured. Love is doing things you at times don't want to do just to see the other person smile. And that smile is payment enough. Love is saying I would rather die then to cause you pain. Love is being so angry with someones actions, but loving them in spite of them. That is love. That is biblical love.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Little Things
India Arie's song "The Little Things" tells of her love of some simple things in life. I believe that too often we want grand gestures instead of appreciating the small things that happen everyday. So here is my list of little things that make me smile:
1. A kiss on the neck
2. Feeling safe
3. Playing Centipede at the arcade
4. Freshly washed hair
5. Sunshine on your face
6. Sand
7. Honesty
8. Science experiements with my friends
9. A good book
10. Hugs from my daughters
11. His hand on the small of your back and he guides you through the door
12. Catching his eye across the room and smiling
13. Promises kept
14. Country Ham and collard greens
15. Laughing with my mother
16. Hearing my father say I love you
17. Jeans, flip flops, and a white tshirt
18. Sunglasses in my hair
19. Stawberries
20. Love
1. A kiss on the neck
2. Feeling safe
3. Playing Centipede at the arcade
4. Freshly washed hair
5. Sunshine on your face
6. Sand
7. Honesty
8. Science experiements with my friends
9. A good book
10. Hugs from my daughters
11. His hand on the small of your back and he guides you through the door
12. Catching his eye across the room and smiling
13. Promises kept
14. Country Ham and collard greens
15. Laughing with my mother
16. Hearing my father say I love you
17. Jeans, flip flops, and a white tshirt
18. Sunglasses in my hair
19. Stawberries
20. Love
The Honest Truth
Who do you rely on to tell you the truth? The hard as nails, really might hurt truth? Is there anyone that does that for you? Or are you surrounded by yes-men, folks who will never tell you your poo stinks? If you only have yes-men in your life, then I feel sorry for you.
Yes, I am aware that real honesty can hurt. Friends don't want to hurt friends' feelings, right? But if someone always sugarcoats their words, they are doing you a diservice. They are not trusting that you can & will grow. They are condeming you to a substandard life. I have friends that will keep it totally honest with me. Even when I want to be told I am right, or hear a series of "yes's" they refuse to play along. Am I salty for a minute? Yes. But am I better for it afterward? Yes.
So do as my good friend says and "keep it funky." Or as today's teens often quote, "Keep it 100." Or just quote me say this: "I am keeping it honest because I believe in you."
Yes, I am aware that real honesty can hurt. Friends don't want to hurt friends' feelings, right? But if someone always sugarcoats their words, they are doing you a diservice. They are not trusting that you can & will grow. They are condeming you to a substandard life. I have friends that will keep it totally honest with me. Even when I want to be told I am right, or hear a series of "yes's" they refuse to play along. Am I salty for a minute? Yes. But am I better for it afterward? Yes.
So do as my good friend says and "keep it funky." Or as today's teens often quote, "Keep it 100." Or just quote me say this: "I am keeping it honest because I believe in you."
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Who's zapping your zest?
Who is zapping your zest for life? Who is controlling your outlook & attitude? If you name anyone other than yourself, you have a problem. Yes. Others do weigh in on your energy, but they can NOT define it.
I alone control my outlook & attitude. If you don't like your limited influence over me, oh well. There are plenty other weak willed folks out there for you to control. I am surrounding myself with people & things that support, love, & feed me spiritually. If you aren't doing one of those three things,... vaya con Dios. I will wish you well in your next endeavor and will love/pray for u from afar. But you will not drain me.
So love you. Mean it. And adios.
I alone control my outlook & attitude. If you don't like your limited influence over me, oh well. There are plenty other weak willed folks out there for you to control. I am surrounding myself with people & things that support, love, & feed me spiritually. If you aren't doing one of those three things,... vaya con Dios. I will wish you well in your next endeavor and will love/pray for u from afar. But you will not drain me.
So love you. Mean it. And adios.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Convicted
Convicted. Wow. Such a strong word. Folks in church often talk about being convicted. If you don't know what that means, let me break it down. "Convicted" is bigger than shame. It is when you have sinned against God and are tormented by that knowledge. You are ashamed of your actions. You are disappointed in yourself. You are convicted.
Now some people run from God and conviction. They know they've done wrong but instead of acknowledging the sin, they run from it. Some run by drinking excessively. Others run by smoking something. And some run by running back to the sin. But guess what? Conviction follows them. They have to keep running in a silly attempt to outrun the conviction. Funny thing is that they can never outrun the shame.
But I thank God that I now recognize conviction. Just this week, I acted a fool. (No, I won't go into details for you. I went into detail with God.) And while acting a fool was fun after the good time ended, I felt convicted. I knew that God was not happy with my actions. I knew that I had made a conscious decision to do wrong. I knew it. I was convicted. But did I repent right away? Nope. I know, I know. I write about God and God's love all the time and here I am choosing wrong. Doesn't that make me a hypocrite? Nope. It makes me just like you and everyone else. I didn't repent right away. I justified my actions. I thought logically that "well, it ain't that bad. I know folks who have done the same and worse. It's ok." And I went to sleep. But I was tormented even in my sleep. I had the worse nightmare possible. I woke up in tears so full of pain and conviction. I had to get out of bed and repent. I had to confess my sin to God and ask for forgiveness. But those are just the first two steps. I had to also make a decision to not do it again - even if I wanted to. Remember, it was big fun. But I had to say that temporary big fun is nothing when compared to the conviction I felt and my desire to do God's will.
Lots of folks are convicted and have no idea what is going on. They are tormented daily. Up all night. Trying to figure out their best way out of a tough situation. Trying to figure out how to let go of big fun. Honestly, there is no magic answer or special pill. It is choosing to chase God even when your flesh wants to do something else. It is really aching to do wrong but denying that because you know that 60 years on earth is nothing compared to an eternity with God.
So I thank God for conviction and the opportunity it provides me to make a change. What are you convicted for? What sins have you committed against God? Stop now and confess, repent, and change. God is the creator of grace, mercy, and forgiveness and extends those blessings daily.
Now some people run from God and conviction. They know they've done wrong but instead of acknowledging the sin, they run from it. Some run by drinking excessively. Others run by smoking something. And some run by running back to the sin. But guess what? Conviction follows them. They have to keep running in a silly attempt to outrun the conviction. Funny thing is that they can never outrun the shame.
But I thank God that I now recognize conviction. Just this week, I acted a fool. (No, I won't go into details for you. I went into detail with God.) And while acting a fool was fun after the good time ended, I felt convicted. I knew that God was not happy with my actions. I knew that I had made a conscious decision to do wrong. I knew it. I was convicted. But did I repent right away? Nope. I know, I know. I write about God and God's love all the time and here I am choosing wrong. Doesn't that make me a hypocrite? Nope. It makes me just like you and everyone else. I didn't repent right away. I justified my actions. I thought logically that "well, it ain't that bad. I know folks who have done the same and worse. It's ok." And I went to sleep. But I was tormented even in my sleep. I had the worse nightmare possible. I woke up in tears so full of pain and conviction. I had to get out of bed and repent. I had to confess my sin to God and ask for forgiveness. But those are just the first two steps. I had to also make a decision to not do it again - even if I wanted to. Remember, it was big fun. But I had to say that temporary big fun is nothing when compared to the conviction I felt and my desire to do God's will.
Lots of folks are convicted and have no idea what is going on. They are tormented daily. Up all night. Trying to figure out their best way out of a tough situation. Trying to figure out how to let go of big fun. Honestly, there is no magic answer or special pill. It is choosing to chase God even when your flesh wants to do something else. It is really aching to do wrong but denying that because you know that 60 years on earth is nothing compared to an eternity with God.
So I thank God for conviction and the opportunity it provides me to make a change. What are you convicted for? What sins have you committed against God? Stop now and confess, repent, and change. God is the creator of grace, mercy, and forgiveness and extends those blessings daily.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
MLK Weekend
Ok, MLK weekend is almost here and what does that mean? Planning your latest community service event? Thinking about what you are going to wear to march in honor of King's legacy? Trying to figure out which church service to attend in his honor? Well, no. Unfortunately MLK weekend has become another 3 day holiday that is not celebrated properly. And if you are in Nashville, it is a reason to party.
Yep, I said party. Not 1, not 2, but 3 local party promoters are having blackout affairs in "honor" of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I am serious. And chances are there are parties planned in your city too.
Now before you start calling names and talking the "I-saw-you-at-homecoming-at-the-PARTY-so-what-do-you-have-against-parties-nonsense," let me clarify. I love parties. Dancing is my thing. I love to hear my song and shake a tail feather until I work up a good sweat. But partying for MLK weekend, really? I wouldn't even care if the parties were raising money for some local charity, but from what I can tell they are just promoting black folks and capitalism. Raise money for the Boys & Girls Club. Raise money for the YMCA kids programs. Raise money for Stratford High School. Raise money for a worthwhile organization like the Urban League or the NAACP. Then I will happily come and shake my tail feather knowing my dollars are supporting King's legacy.
Yep, I said party. Not 1, not 2, but 3 local party promoters are having blackout affairs in "honor" of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I am serious. And chances are there are parties planned in your city too.
Now before you start calling names and talking the "I-saw-you-at-homecoming-at-the-PARTY-so-what-do-you-have-against-parties-nonsense," let me clarify. I love parties. Dancing is my thing. I love to hear my song and shake a tail feather until I work up a good sweat. But partying for MLK weekend, really? I wouldn't even care if the parties were raising money for some local charity, but from what I can tell they are just promoting black folks and capitalism. Raise money for the Boys & Girls Club. Raise money for the YMCA kids programs. Raise money for Stratford High School. Raise money for a worthwhile organization like the Urban League or the NAACP. Then I will happily come and shake my tail feather knowing my dollars are supporting King's legacy.
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Gospel of Steve Harvey
Ok, you know you watched it. BET's Celebration of Gospel was amazing. And the section honoring what God has done in Steve Harvey's life was wonderful. Who would have thought that an adulterer, cheater, fornicator would be honored on a gospel show? Who would have thought that a man married 3 times would be talking about honoring your wife? Who would have thought that a raunchy stand up comedian would start ever radio broadcast with a devotional? But who would have thought that God would be using you?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Sang Marvin!
This is for a good friend of mine. He often questions why I continuously speak life into his situation. It's not me talking. It's God. If God can use me, and I know I'm a mess, He can use you too. Believe me. Better yet, believe God.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
F*ck the enemy
Yep. I said it "Fuck the enemy." I often write about the enemy and about his tricks and traps. But today I am tired of him. Today I really just want to say "fuck you" to satan. Go ahead and gasp. But then ask yourself why are you gasping? We tell others who are living, breathing and walking next to us to "Fuck off" or "fuck you" or some other variation quite often. But we tiptoe around satan. Not today. I am tired of his crap and his hold over some folks. I am tired of us giving satan so much power over our lives. So the gloves are off. I am fed up with talking about how the enemy is doing that and the enemy is doing this. You know what? What about God?
God is keeping His promises. God is keeping me sane. God is loving me. God got this situation and He has me. God is able to do what I am not. God gives me strength when I have none. God is awesome. So today, I am giving the spiritual finger (you know which finger) to the enemy and keeping my eyes focused on God's greatness.
God is keeping His promises. God is keeping me sane. God is loving me. God got this situation and He has me. God is able to do what I am not. God gives me strength when I have none. God is awesome. So today, I am giving the spiritual finger (you know which finger) to the enemy and keeping my eyes focused on God's greatness.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
River Rise
Have you ever had a song speak to you so perfectly? Just so eloquently express all that you want to say. Well, today India.Arie's "River Rise" did just that. Let me confess: I have always been a fan of Ms. Arie's. And I have loved the long for awhile. But today, I felt compelled to share it and celebrate it because it speaks to the heart of me.
I have always been a bit extra. A bit too passionate. A bit too mean. A bit too opinionated. A bit too quiet. A bit too cute. A bit too smart. Just a bit too much. That's me. As a teen I remember thinking, "What's wrong with me? Doesn't everyone feel this way?" And sadly realizing that no. Not everyone feels the same way I do. At that point I realized that it was easier to go along with the crowd instead of being me. Being me could lead to loneliness or rejection. So I chose to be like everyone else. To live beneath my potential. That way I don't threaten anyone. I don't stand out or rock the boat. And not suprising, at that point I quit trusting myself. I mean how can I trust myself if I am not truly living as MYSELF?
At times bits and pieces of my true self break through. My tattoos for example. They are me. They are not a trend that I am following, or a fad. They are badges of honor that I wear. or like this blog. Wow. Who would have beleived that I had so much to say? But this blog is me. The misspellings, prayers, dirty words, tears, and openness. It's a glimpse of me. And maybe that is what adulthood is meant to be. A time to rediscover yourself. To make peace with the person that you left behind.
Which brings me back to the song. India writes that "I was always a charmed flower child/ I would sit for hours and listen to the sky." Man, that is so me. A sunny day and freshly cut Kentucky grass, I could lie there all day. Or a day at the beach. Not building sandcastles or swimming, but listening. I love it. I leave feeling energized and... blessed. I wrestled with that word but it is truly how I feel - blessed. So much so that I chase that feeling at the tanning salon. So many times I have settled for heat lamps, a electric breeze, soft music and let my mind wander for 20 minutes at a time.. chasing that feeling. Even now - in the dead of winter - I miss that oneness that I feel when the sun is shining on me.
Later Ms. Arie sings "River rise, carry me back home/ I cannot remember the way/ River rise, carry me back home/ I surrender today." If 2009 didn't teach me anything else, it taught me to surrender. Lay it all down. Cast your cares on God. To quit fighting. To draw near to the Lord and back to who He made you to be. Think back. As a child you had a vision for your life. Are you living it? If not, does your current reality make you happy or does the childhood vision in your head? It may be a profession. It may be a hobby. But what speaks not only to you but through you?
Surrender. Go home.
I have always been a bit extra. A bit too passionate. A bit too mean. A bit too opinionated. A bit too quiet. A bit too cute. A bit too smart. Just a bit too much. That's me. As a teen I remember thinking, "What's wrong with me? Doesn't everyone feel this way?" And sadly realizing that no. Not everyone feels the same way I do. At that point I realized that it was easier to go along with the crowd instead of being me. Being me could lead to loneliness or rejection. So I chose to be like everyone else. To live beneath my potential. That way I don't threaten anyone. I don't stand out or rock the boat. And not suprising, at that point I quit trusting myself. I mean how can I trust myself if I am not truly living as MYSELF?
At times bits and pieces of my true self break through. My tattoos for example. They are me. They are not a trend that I am following, or a fad. They are badges of honor that I wear. or like this blog. Wow. Who would have beleived that I had so much to say? But this blog is me. The misspellings, prayers, dirty words, tears, and openness. It's a glimpse of me. And maybe that is what adulthood is meant to be. A time to rediscover yourself. To make peace with the person that you left behind.
Which brings me back to the song. India writes that "I was always a charmed flower child/ I would sit for hours and listen to the sky." Man, that is so me. A sunny day and freshly cut Kentucky grass, I could lie there all day. Or a day at the beach. Not building sandcastles or swimming, but listening. I love it. I leave feeling energized and... blessed. I wrestled with that word but it is truly how I feel - blessed. So much so that I chase that feeling at the tanning salon. So many times I have settled for heat lamps, a electric breeze, soft music and let my mind wander for 20 minutes at a time.. chasing that feeling. Even now - in the dead of winter - I miss that oneness that I feel when the sun is shining on me.
Later Ms. Arie sings "River rise, carry me back home/ I cannot remember the way/ River rise, carry me back home/ I surrender today." If 2009 didn't teach me anything else, it taught me to surrender. Lay it all down. Cast your cares on God. To quit fighting. To draw near to the Lord and back to who He made you to be. Think back. As a child you had a vision for your life. Are you living it? If not, does your current reality make you happy or does the childhood vision in your head? It may be a profession. It may be a hobby. But what speaks not only to you but through you?
Surrender. Go home.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Pearl Cleage's "Good Brother Blues"
FYI: the following is an excerpt from Pearl Cleage's "Good Brother Blues." Amazing! Amazing! Amazing! Sister Cleage has so elequently detailed what black women are looking for in a mate.
We (Black women) are looking for a good brother.
We are looking for a righteous brother. A real righteous brother. Not one of those singing white guys who made the loss of love sound so intensely intense that you had to fall in love every time the record came on.
We are looking for a real righteous brother. An all grown up, ain`t scared of nuthin`, and knows it`s time to save the race righteous brother.
A good father/good husband/good lover/good worker/good warrior/serious revolutionary righteous brother.
A tuck the baby in at night and accept equal responsibility for child raising and household maintenance chores righteous brother.
A generate a regular paycheck or provide evidence of mutually agreed upon, full-time alternative service to the race or to the family, such as playing a saxophone or writing novels, or providing community defense, or taking primary responsibility for children`s nurturing and education righteous brother.
A read a book and play a tune and dance your slow dance sweet and low down righteous brother.
A love black women, protect black children and never hit a woman righteous brother.
A turn the TV off and let`s talk instead righteous brother.
A turn the TV off and let`s make love instead righteous brother.
A stay at home `cause that`s where you wanna be righteous brother.
A brother who can listen.
A brother who can teach.
A brother who can change. For the better.
A brother who can move. Toward the center of the earth.
A brother who is not intimidated or confused by the power and the magic of women.
We are looking for a righteous brother. What we used to call a good brother.
A brother who loves his people.
A brother who doesn`t hit or holler at or shoot or stab or grab or shove or kick or slap or punch women or children.
A brother who doesn`t call women hoes, b*tches, skanks, pu**ies, dykes, sl*ts, c*nts, etc., etc., etc.
A brother who knows there is no such thing as a rape joke.
A brother who uses condoms without being asked.
A brother who doesn`t call sex screwing.
A brother who knows that time and tenderness are more important than size and speed and that reciprocity is everything.
A brother who knows that permission must be gained at every step before proceeding.
A brother who doesn`t describe the details of an intimate heterosexual encounter by saying, "Man, I knocked the bottom out of it." Or: "I f*cked her brains out." Or: "I drew blood from that b*tch."
A brother who says: "I made her feel good. I showed her how much I love and cherish her."
A brother who says: "I rubbed warm oil on her."
A brother who says: "I kissed every part of her I could kiss."
A brother who says: "I made her feel so safe and happy and free that she fell asleep in my arms and her heart beat sounded like the ocean after a storm..."
We are looking for a real good brother.
We are looking for a brother who will turn the ships around.
...Some brothers feel that we, their sisters, are giving mixed signals when it comes to the manhood thing. We want, they say, all the protection and safety offered by a strong man, but we are unwilling to accept the presence of the warrior`s heart.
We, they say, are responsible for any confusion that exists on the manhood question; we are the ones, they say, that counsel caution instead of courage; diplomacy instead of defense.
They say that when the ships pulled up on the shores of Africa and the slavers came ashore to look for us, we were the ones who held them back; the ones who told them that it might be dangerous to go down to the water`s edge.
We were the ones, they say, who encouraged them to stay at home, telling them how worried we would be if they went down there with the other warriors to turn the ships around, assuring them that if they just sat here by the fire with us, the white folks would probably change their minds and go away all by themselves. They say that`s the reason why they didn`t turn the ships around. Because they thought we didn`t want them to.
Assuming this is a correct presentation of herstorical fact (and I am unconvinced), it is clearly one of the greatest examples of miscommunication in all of human herstory and one we should avoid repeating at all costs.
So let it be known that we are looking for a brother that will turn the ships around.
A brother who will go into the crack house and turn the ships around.
A brother who will go to the places where it is open season on our children and turn the ships around.
A brother who will hear the screams of sisters beaten to death by the men who say they love them and turn the ships around.
A brother who will hear the whimper of our babies born with AIDS and turn the ships around.
A brother who will remember how freedom feels and turn the ships around.
A brother who will gather with the warriors and march down to the edge of the sea and turn the ships around/turn the ships around/turn the ships around/and this time, turn the ships around.
We (Black women) are looking for a good brother.
We are looking for a righteous brother. A real righteous brother. Not one of those singing white guys who made the loss of love sound so intensely intense that you had to fall in love every time the record came on.
We are looking for a real righteous brother. An all grown up, ain`t scared of nuthin`, and knows it`s time to save the race righteous brother.
A good father/good husband/good lover/good worker/good warrior/serious revolutionary righteous brother.
A tuck the baby in at night and accept equal responsibility for child raising and household maintenance chores righteous brother.
A generate a regular paycheck or provide evidence of mutually agreed upon, full-time alternative service to the race or to the family, such as playing a saxophone or writing novels, or providing community defense, or taking primary responsibility for children`s nurturing and education righteous brother.
A read a book and play a tune and dance your slow dance sweet and low down righteous brother.
A love black women, protect black children and never hit a woman righteous brother.
A turn the TV off and let`s talk instead righteous brother.
A turn the TV off and let`s make love instead righteous brother.
A stay at home `cause that`s where you wanna be righteous brother.
A brother who can listen.
A brother who can teach.
A brother who can change. For the better.
A brother who can move. Toward the center of the earth.
A brother who is not intimidated or confused by the power and the magic of women.
We are looking for a righteous brother. What we used to call a good brother.
A brother who loves his people.
A brother who doesn`t hit or holler at or shoot or stab or grab or shove or kick or slap or punch women or children.
A brother who doesn`t call women hoes, b*tches, skanks, pu**ies, dykes, sl*ts, c*nts, etc., etc., etc.
A brother who knows there is no such thing as a rape joke.
A brother who uses condoms without being asked.
A brother who doesn`t call sex screwing.
A brother who knows that time and tenderness are more important than size and speed and that reciprocity is everything.
A brother who knows that permission must be gained at every step before proceeding.
A brother who doesn`t describe the details of an intimate heterosexual encounter by saying, "Man, I knocked the bottom out of it." Or: "I f*cked her brains out." Or: "I drew blood from that b*tch."
A brother who says: "I made her feel good. I showed her how much I love and cherish her."
A brother who says: "I rubbed warm oil on her."
A brother who says: "I kissed every part of her I could kiss."
A brother who says: "I made her feel so safe and happy and free that she fell asleep in my arms and her heart beat sounded like the ocean after a storm..."
We are looking for a real good brother.
We are looking for a brother who will turn the ships around.
...Some brothers feel that we, their sisters, are giving mixed signals when it comes to the manhood thing. We want, they say, all the protection and safety offered by a strong man, but we are unwilling to accept the presence of the warrior`s heart.
We, they say, are responsible for any confusion that exists on the manhood question; we are the ones, they say, that counsel caution instead of courage; diplomacy instead of defense.
They say that when the ships pulled up on the shores of Africa and the slavers came ashore to look for us, we were the ones who held them back; the ones who told them that it might be dangerous to go down to the water`s edge.
We were the ones, they say, who encouraged them to stay at home, telling them how worried we would be if they went down there with the other warriors to turn the ships around, assuring them that if they just sat here by the fire with us, the white folks would probably change their minds and go away all by themselves. They say that`s the reason why they didn`t turn the ships around. Because they thought we didn`t want them to.
Assuming this is a correct presentation of herstorical fact (and I am unconvinced), it is clearly one of the greatest examples of miscommunication in all of human herstory and one we should avoid repeating at all costs.
So let it be known that we are looking for a brother that will turn the ships around.
A brother who will go into the crack house and turn the ships around.
A brother who will go to the places where it is open season on our children and turn the ships around.
A brother who will hear the screams of sisters beaten to death by the men who say they love them and turn the ships around.
A brother who will hear the whimper of our babies born with AIDS and turn the ships around.
A brother who will remember how freedom feels and turn the ships around.
A brother who will gather with the warriors and march down to the edge of the sea and turn the ships around/turn the ships around/turn the ships around/and this time, turn the ships around.
Resolutions
I keep pausing throughout my day thinking, "are you following through on your resolutions?" Funny thing is I didn't make any resolutions for 2010. But the act of having a huge list of things I want to do better or things I want to change is apparently so ingrained in me that even when I don't make resolutions my mind seems to believe that I have.
But this year I made a manifesto. A mission statement if you will. (I posted it in early December if you need a reference.) And it is taped to my bathroom mirror and I read it daily. To remind myself of the direction that I want to go in. This year I understand that there isn't a magic wand that will help me tone up. There isn't a pill that I can take to have more time in my day. There isn't a new drink that will make me happier. No magic potions or wands will ever help me achieve my goals. And achieving my goals is not a destination but a journey. I had a huge case of the "if's." You know the "if's." If my stomach was flatter, I would be happier. Or if I had more money, then XYZ would happen. Or if so-and-so would just behave, then LMNOP would happen. But what does my stomach have to do with my mental state? I could have all of the money in the world and still not be a good steward of it. And how can I let someone else's actions control my happiness? By always relying on the if's, I allowed myself to be off the hook. I wasn't to blame for not living up to my potential because the if's were holding me back, right? Bullshit! I was holding me back.
So this year, there are no resolutions. No pressing deadlines. No unnecessary pressures. I will achieve my goals and then set new ones. The journey may be bumpy, I may even walk in circles sometimes, but guess what? This year I will enjoy the trip.
But this year I made a manifesto. A mission statement if you will. (I posted it in early December if you need a reference.) And it is taped to my bathroom mirror and I read it daily. To remind myself of the direction that I want to go in. This year I understand that there isn't a magic wand that will help me tone up. There isn't a pill that I can take to have more time in my day. There isn't a new drink that will make me happier. No magic potions or wands will ever help me achieve my goals. And achieving my goals is not a destination but a journey. I had a huge case of the "if's." You know the "if's." If my stomach was flatter, I would be happier. Or if I had more money, then XYZ would happen. Or if so-and-so would just behave, then LMNOP would happen. But what does my stomach have to do with my mental state? I could have all of the money in the world and still not be a good steward of it. And how can I let someone else's actions control my happiness? By always relying on the if's, I allowed myself to be off the hook. I wasn't to blame for not living up to my potential because the if's were holding me back, right? Bullshit! I was holding me back.
So this year, there are no resolutions. No pressing deadlines. No unnecessary pressures. I will achieve my goals and then set new ones. The journey may be bumpy, I may even walk in circles sometimes, but guess what? This year I will enjoy the trip.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A Great Weekend
Today's post is just a quick snippet to say "I had a great weekend." I quite often lament that I never have any fun. To quote The Shining, "All work and no play..." well you know the rest. But this weekend, I had fun. This weekend was amazing because I was well rested. Why? Because my mama is in town and actually forced me to go to bed. She actually threatened me with a whooping, but we won't talk about that.
Another reason my weekend was great is because I made a last minute decision to just do it. Without going into too many details, Saturday was starting off kinda rough. And I took a long look around and decided to steal a phrase from Nike and "just do it." I got cuted up (dressed for those unaware of Ellery-speak), grabbed the purse, and walked out the door. Approximately one amazing hour later, I returned refreshed and smiling. And you know what? No one in my house died from one hour without me. I gained so much and they lacked nothing. So it was a win-win!
Next, I decided to take someone up on an offer to see a movie. I debated it back and forth for a long while, then once again Nike stepped in and I said "just do it!" And I did. Now this may not seem big to you. You may go to the movies ever week, but for me.. this is big. I have been trying to see this movie for a month - literally. So when this person said "go," I thought "hell yeah! I'm going." And I did. Was the movie a life changing experience? Nope. But the act of GOING to the movie was.
So now we are on to Sunday, and I am on a roll. I am feeling totally empowered and like I can do anything. And you know what? I can. Who knows what I might do next?
Another reason my weekend was great is because I made a last minute decision to just do it. Without going into too many details, Saturday was starting off kinda rough. And I took a long look around and decided to steal a phrase from Nike and "just do it." I got cuted up (dressed for those unaware of Ellery-speak), grabbed the purse, and walked out the door. Approximately one amazing hour later, I returned refreshed and smiling. And you know what? No one in my house died from one hour without me. I gained so much and they lacked nothing. So it was a win-win!
Next, I decided to take someone up on an offer to see a movie. I debated it back and forth for a long while, then once again Nike stepped in and I said "just do it!" And I did. Now this may not seem big to you. You may go to the movies ever week, but for me.. this is big. I have been trying to see this movie for a month - literally. So when this person said "go," I thought "hell yeah! I'm going." And I did. Was the movie a life changing experience? Nope. But the act of GOING to the movie was.
So now we are on to Sunday, and I am on a roll. I am feeling totally empowered and like I can do anything. And you know what? I can. Who knows what I might do next?
Friday, January 1, 2010
Support My Folks
Writing:
1. If you need a seasoned print and web journalist to help you write a grant, put together an obituary/funeral program, or a press release on the fly contact Jeannine Hunter.
contact: jeannine.hunter@att.net or http://jean9fhunter.wordpress.com/
2. If you are a reader, check out "The Gospel.. " trilogy from Tracey Lewis Giggetts. You can find her at http://traceymichaellewis.blogspot.com/
3. Do you need PR or event planning, contact Sharica Smallwood at www.socialbutterflypr.com
4. Do you need a devotional that will help structure your prayer life, contact Mardell Redd at www.uneed2pray.com. (She is a multi-tasker. If you need an amazing chess pie for just $10, hit her up.)
5. If you have a great new show idea and are looking for the perfect host, I have the woman for you. Poised, articulate, beautiful and smart are all words that describe Kim Barton. Years of experience in front of the camera and doing ministry PR, you can find her at kbarton1908@gmail.com.
Music:
1. You need to hear the hip-hop gospel music by Alonzo Mitchell. Check him out at http://www.triumfantmuzik.com/
2. You need a wedding singer or someone to vocally make your event the bomb, contact Amber Jackson. I love it when she sings Whitney Houston's "I Believe in Miracles." Whoa Child! Contact her at amberjmk@yahoo.com.
Fitness:
1. If you are in Alabama and need to get in shape and have a serious accountablity partner, contact Tasha Martinear Edwards at fitnessbaby@gmail.com
2. If you are interested in women's health and wellness, contact Jada Wright at http://www.onetouchwellness.org
3. IF you are looking to get in shape in Nashville, contact Sean and Nichole Donaldson at http://www.thruus.net
Finance:
1. If you are interested in 5Linx and wealth building, contact Ericka Hopkins McGrew at emcgrew22@bellsouth.net.
Beauty
1. If you want your hair hooked up and looking great whether it is permed or loc'd, call Patience Barton at http://www.patiencebarton.com/
1. If you need a seasoned print and web journalist to help you write a grant, put together an obituary/funeral program, or a press release on the fly contact Jeannine Hunter.
contact: jeannine.hunter@att.net or http://jean9fhunter.wordpress.com/
2. If you are a reader, check out "The Gospel.. " trilogy from Tracey Lewis Giggetts. You can find her at http://traceymichaellewis.blogspot.com/
3. Do you need PR or event planning, contact Sharica Smallwood at www.socialbutterflypr.com
4. Do you need a devotional that will help structure your prayer life, contact Mardell Redd at www.uneed2pray.com. (She is a multi-tasker. If you need an amazing chess pie for just $10, hit her up.)
5. If you have a great new show idea and are looking for the perfect host, I have the woman for you. Poised, articulate, beautiful and smart are all words that describe Kim Barton. Years of experience in front of the camera and doing ministry PR, you can find her at kbarton1908@gmail.com.
Music:
1. You need to hear the hip-hop gospel music by Alonzo Mitchell. Check him out at http://www.triumfantmuzik.com/
2. You need a wedding singer or someone to vocally make your event the bomb, contact Amber Jackson. I love it when she sings Whitney Houston's "I Believe in Miracles." Whoa Child! Contact her at amberjmk@yahoo.com.
Fitness:
1. If you are in Alabama and need to get in shape and have a serious accountablity partner, contact Tasha Martinear Edwards at fitnessbaby@gmail.com
2. If you are interested in women's health and wellness, contact Jada Wright at http://www.onetouchwellness.org
3. IF you are looking to get in shape in Nashville, contact Sean and Nichole Donaldson at http://www.thruus.net
Finance:
1. If you are interested in 5Linx and wealth building, contact Ericka Hopkins McGrew at emcgrew22@bellsouth.net.
Beauty
1. If you want your hair hooked up and looking great whether it is permed or loc'd, call Patience Barton at http://www.patiencebarton.com/
Shine a Light
I love Kurt Carr's song "God Blocked It." The entire song is great but one part in particular speaks volumes. It states,
If that doesn't sum up my life, I don't know what does. I've done a lot in my life. Not all of it is good. To be really honest, there are a lot of blemishes on my record. And when I think about the blemishes, I realize that lots of the wrong I did, I did in the dark.
Somethings I did at night. Others I did in in secret - the symbolic dark. Either way, I let the cover of "night" give me a false sense that as long as no one knew about it, then it was ok. The Word says in John 3:20 "20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed." Ummm, well me admit it. That was completely wrong thinking. Why? Because God always knows what you are doing whether it's in the dark or light or on the moon. John 8:12 states, "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'"
If you are a follower of Jesus, then wherever you go there is light on you. Everywhere you go, Jesus's light goes with you. Really think about that. Everywhere? Everywhere! Remember those bracelets that folks had a few years back that said "WWJD - What would Jesus do?" They were supposed to remind you to think about your actions from a Christly vantage point. Try this on for size: think about all the stuff that you did in December - both in the light and in the dark. If Jesus was in the room with you for the whole month, what would you have done differently? Well, guess what? He was there with you the whole month. Right now, Jesus is holding your hand. Right now, Jesus is watching you love your kids. Right now, Jesus is watching you call your fornication fix. Jesus is watching you as you call your weed dealer. Jesus is watching you (me) cuss out a coworker. Jesus is watching you honor your husband. Jesus is watching you RIGHT NOW.
That thought puts not only a flashlight on your actions, but a huge glaring spotlight. This is why you must repent daily. This is why you have to vigilant in your actions. And this is why there should be no doubt about God's grace and mercy.
In Acts 26:18 Jesus commissioned Paul saying that he was to go to the people "'to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.'" So you need to turn away from darkness. Walk in the light.
"Haven't lived a perfect life
Seems I've done wrong more than I've done right
But thank God for compassion and forgiveness
That kept me from a terrible plight"
If that doesn't sum up my life, I don't know what does. I've done a lot in my life. Not all of it is good. To be really honest, there are a lot of blemishes on my record. And when I think about the blemishes, I realize that lots of the wrong I did, I did in the dark.
Somethings I did at night. Others I did in in secret - the symbolic dark. Either way, I let the cover of "night" give me a false sense that as long as no one knew about it, then it was ok. The Word says in John 3:20 "20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed." Ummm, well me admit it. That was completely wrong thinking. Why? Because God always knows what you are doing whether it's in the dark or light or on the moon. John 8:12 states, "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'"
If you are a follower of Jesus, then wherever you go there is light on you. Everywhere you go, Jesus's light goes with you. Really think about that. Everywhere? Everywhere! Remember those bracelets that folks had a few years back that said "WWJD - What would Jesus do?" They were supposed to remind you to think about your actions from a Christly vantage point. Try this on for size: think about all the stuff that you did in December - both in the light and in the dark. If Jesus was in the room with you for the whole month, what would you have done differently? Well, guess what? He was there with you the whole month. Right now, Jesus is holding your hand. Right now, Jesus is watching you love your kids. Right now, Jesus is watching you call your fornication fix. Jesus is watching you as you call your weed dealer. Jesus is watching you (me) cuss out a coworker. Jesus is watching you honor your husband. Jesus is watching you RIGHT NOW.
That thought puts not only a flashlight on your actions, but a huge glaring spotlight. This is why you must repent daily. This is why you have to vigilant in your actions. And this is why there should be no doubt about God's grace and mercy.
In Acts 26:18 Jesus commissioned Paul saying that he was to go to the people "'to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.'" So you need to turn away from darkness. Walk in the light.
Choose Your Words Wisely
The language you use is very important. How you define things with your tongue is a great indicator of how you see them? Think about it. Do you call yourself pleasantly plump when the truth is you are obese? (I know, I know.. I am going hard today. Just put your seatbelt on and keep reading.) Do you call your best friend a "little flirtatious" when she is a whore? Do you see how what you call something is so very important?
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." We can speak life over our situations, but sometimes we speak death into them by sugarcoating what is really going on. Think about it. If you went through your day calling everything by what your spirit told you to call them, it would be so much easier to watch out for missteps. It would be easy to spot the enemy trying to get you. But we don't. We sugarcoat the pitfalls and then wonder how we ended up in a trap. And all names are not universal for everyone. My thorn is different from your thorn. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Paul writes about a thorn in his flesh. A carnal desire that he wants to fulfill in the natural but can't because of his calling in the spiritual. I don't know what his thorn was just like I don't know what yours is, but I do know my thorns. What if I called the thorns by their spirital names? Example: Instead of calling desserts, "sweets" or "treats" what if I called them "my stupid attempt to exert control over my life by indulging in a sugary substance that is determental to my physical well being but also reeks havoc over my self esteem?" See what I mean? Call the item for what it is. Or how about this one? If you are prone to be caught up in overspending and debt and you are in the mall with a cute dress in one hand and your charge card in the other, don't call the purchase a "treat" or a "splurge." Try calling it this, "the item that you will be paying for 6 months from now when you no longer like it and are working extra hours trying to pay it off and don't have any time for prayer and meditation or pursuing what God ordained for your life." See now the dress isn't so cute, is it?
Sometimes you have to call folks you know different things. It doesn't have to be confrontational and to their face. Change their names in your phone. Instead of your cell phone saying "Monifa" when she calls, change it to "the enemy" or "the road to death." Or write out a longer saying and put it next to the phone. Here try this one, "God's child who is currently being used by the enemy to keep me from my destiny and take me to hell." Of that friend who always wants to go get a drink, knowing that you are trying to put that thorn down. Don't call him "Billy." Call him "a pusher of death that is trying to steal my life and keep me from seeing Jesus." Aren't things made so much more plain by calling items/folks what they really are?
And remember to see yourself as you really are. You are God's child. You are a follower of Christ. You are a royal priesthood. You are abundantly blessed. You are His chosen people. You may have been a crackhead/adulturer/whore or whatever yesterday. But today, You are a member of the kingdom of GOD. Today, you are walking with fresh feet and seeing with fresh eyes. Today is day 1 of the best days of your life. It is not going to be easy, but it is so much easier when you wear God glasses and start seeing your life and those in it for what they really are.
So today, January 1, 2010, spend the entire day calling folks/items by their "spiritual names." I know I will because one day I hope to hear God call me by my label and say, "daughter, well done."
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." We can speak life over our situations, but sometimes we speak death into them by sugarcoating what is really going on. Think about it. If you went through your day calling everything by what your spirit told you to call them, it would be so much easier to watch out for missteps. It would be easy to spot the enemy trying to get you. But we don't. We sugarcoat the pitfalls and then wonder how we ended up in a trap. And all names are not universal for everyone. My thorn is different from your thorn. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Paul writes about a thorn in his flesh. A carnal desire that he wants to fulfill in the natural but can't because of his calling in the spiritual. I don't know what his thorn was just like I don't know what yours is, but I do know my thorns. What if I called the thorns by their spirital names? Example: Instead of calling desserts, "sweets" or "treats" what if I called them "my stupid attempt to exert control over my life by indulging in a sugary substance that is determental to my physical well being but also reeks havoc over my self esteem?" See what I mean? Call the item for what it is. Or how about this one? If you are prone to be caught up in overspending and debt and you are in the mall with a cute dress in one hand and your charge card in the other, don't call the purchase a "treat" or a "splurge." Try calling it this, "the item that you will be paying for 6 months from now when you no longer like it and are working extra hours trying to pay it off and don't have any time for prayer and meditation or pursuing what God ordained for your life." See now the dress isn't so cute, is it?
Sometimes you have to call folks you know different things. It doesn't have to be confrontational and to their face. Change their names in your phone. Instead of your cell phone saying "Monifa" when she calls, change it to "the enemy" or "the road to death." Or write out a longer saying and put it next to the phone. Here try this one, "God's child who is currently being used by the enemy to keep me from my destiny and take me to hell." Of that friend who always wants to go get a drink, knowing that you are trying to put that thorn down. Don't call him "Billy." Call him "a pusher of death that is trying to steal my life and keep me from seeing Jesus." Aren't things made so much more plain by calling items/folks what they really are?
And remember to see yourself as you really are. You are God's child. You are a follower of Christ. You are a royal priesthood. You are abundantly blessed. You are His chosen people. You may have been a crackhead/adulturer/whore or whatever yesterday. But today, You are a member of the kingdom of GOD. Today, you are walking with fresh feet and seeing with fresh eyes. Today is day 1 of the best days of your life. It is not going to be easy, but it is so much easier when you wear God glasses and start seeing your life and those in it for what they really are.
So today, January 1, 2010, spend the entire day calling folks/items by their "spiritual names." I know I will because one day I hope to hear God call me by my label and say, "daughter, well done."
Dealing With Spirits
71 minutes until 2010. 71 minutes until I am walking into the year that God told me I would be delivered. He didn't say 1/1/10, so my deliverance may come 12/31/10. But I know that 2010 is the year. As each day passed, my spirit swelled with expectation. So 71 minutes before 2010 and all hell broke out.
Let me clarify. I went to Watch Night service (which for my church it is at 7p)and had a great evening planned. Fun with the family. But whoa.. I guess the devil got the memo that 2010 was the year of breakthru and decided to throw multiple attacks at me. I mean one after another! At first I found myself getting a bit flusterd at the spirit that was talking to me. I mean this spirit was talking funky. Disrespectful, defensive, and downright vexing. But then I realized that I shouldn't try to talk to or rationalize with evil spirits/demons/or the enemy. Ephesians 6:12 states "12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." I know that it is hard to stay quiet when the spirits are possessing/using someone you are close to. But don't waste your breath trying to talk to the person. Rebuke the enemy. Praise God and recite Word. Drive the enemy out using your God ordained influence. Rebuke the evil.
Evil is persistent. It will try to push all your buttons to make you give up. I literally had 71 minutes until 2010. I expect & believe deliverance will come to pass in 2010. So the enemy tried to get me to lose focus these last few minutes of '09. Silly right? After being assaulted for years what's 71 minutes? Nothing. God's promises are eternal. So I slept easy. Not stressed because I knew God promised me deliverance and as a Proverbs 31 woman, I know that as I am delivered - my entire family is delivered as well.
Let me clarify. I went to Watch Night service (which for my church it is at 7p)and had a great evening planned. Fun with the family. But whoa.. I guess the devil got the memo that 2010 was the year of breakthru and decided to throw multiple attacks at me. I mean one after another! At first I found myself getting a bit flusterd at the spirit that was talking to me. I mean this spirit was talking funky. Disrespectful, defensive, and downright vexing. But then I realized that I shouldn't try to talk to or rationalize with evil spirits/demons/or the enemy. Ephesians 6:12 states "12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." I know that it is hard to stay quiet when the spirits are possessing/using someone you are close to. But don't waste your breath trying to talk to the person. Rebuke the enemy. Praise God and recite Word. Drive the enemy out using your God ordained influence. Rebuke the evil.
Evil is persistent. It will try to push all your buttons to make you give up. I literally had 71 minutes until 2010. I expect & believe deliverance will come to pass in 2010. So the enemy tried to get me to lose focus these last few minutes of '09. Silly right? After being assaulted for years what's 71 minutes? Nothing. God's promises are eternal. So I slept easy. Not stressed because I knew God promised me deliverance and as a Proverbs 31 woman, I know that as I am delivered - my entire family is delivered as well.
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