So, I've been mulling over this blog for a few days. Why? Because while the idea is heavy on my heart, it is a huge undertaking. What do you say to your child? Your daughter? I want to say everything. So after much contemplation I decided to break it up. So this is Part 1 - the most important part - faith.
Dear Asyen and Maya,
You know that when I write letters I very rarely write "dear." I just never liked that as an opening word. But you both are truly dear to me so today it's appropriate.
There is so much that I want to tell you and I am afraid I am going to forget something. I don't want to leave anything out. I'm not worried that I am dying or that I won't tell you, but I want to make sure I don't forget anything. And you know me. I process by writing. So here goes... Part 1.
I honestly was never a fan of religion. Let me be real honest.. I am still not a fan of religion. But I am a fan of relationship. I am a HUGE fan of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. That may sound trivial to call myself a fan, but I am a fan. Here is why I wasn't a real organized religion person. I spent the first 8 years of school at Catholic school. While I am sure it was a great school, I never felt home there. I don't look back on my time there - at school or at church - with fond memories. Honestly, I always felt like a fish out of water. What you probably don't know is that I spent almost every other weekend at my mom's baptist church. But guess what? I didn't feel any more comfortable there either. Neither location was a spiritual home for me. While I always believed, I believed from afar. But I came to get to know Jesus after Asyen was born. Later my faith took a huge leap when your daddy and I had some marital turbulence. While that was (is) my journey and every journey is different, there are some things that i definitely want you to know.
1. God is awesome. Don't let anything ever tell you otherwise. God is awesome, powerful, and omnipotent.
2. God is loving. God loves you and cares about you so much that He gave His only Son for you. That is huge! Amazing! Wonderful!
3. The road won't be automatically easy just because you love Jesus. But it will be easier than if you don't love Jesus. Why? Because your ability to handle hard times will be different. Because you love Him and He loves you, you will be better equipped to handle hard times.
4. Don't let people stop you from getting to know God. You may run across mean churches or mean church leaders, but you have to remember that they are people. God is God. By Himself. In a field, in a city, in the bathroom, everywhere.. God is God and doesn't need any help from us.
5. Listen to the Holy Spirit when he tells you something. Don't worry about anyone else when God speaks to you. Trust God.
6. Talk to God often. Thank Him. Praise Him. Worship Him. Ask Him. Pray to Him. Talk to Him. Don't worry about form or fashion. You don't have to do jumping jacks or run around the sanctuary. Talk to Him often. He is listening and always ready to help guide you.
7. Sometimes God will say "no" or "wait" and you won't like it. It's ok. I didn't lke it either. But when He says "no" it is for a good reason. And when He says "wait, have patience, trust Him. Rushing God doesn't work - believe me. His timing is perfect even if it frustrates you. (You will have to remind yourself of this principle often.)
This is a good starter. I am sure that there is more that I will add but know this: God is. That is a great place to start.
I love you both so much.