Mixed Emotions

Well, it's been a month since I really posted anything new.  Why?  Let's just say if you knew what was going on you would ask me one question, "How are you still standing?"  Yep.  It's been that bad.  That dramatic. That controversial.  That stupid.  That much of a mess.  But 2 Corinthians 12:9 says this:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

So today I am going to "boast" about my weakness.  I am in such a place of uncertainty.  Everyone - and I do mean EVERYONE - has an opinion about what I should do, where I should go, what I should say.  But the only one I am listening to is GOD.  Period.  Point blank.  Is that easy?  Heck, no.  But it is the right thing to do.  My moments of uncertainty are always wiped out by things that I know are certain - God has me.  I am not special.  God is willing to have everyone if you recognize what 2 Corinthians says so very plainly.  That God's strength is made perfect in our weakness.  So today I say "Father, help me.  You know better than anyone else how cloudy life has gotten.  Help me to rely on YOU.  Help me to lean on YOU.  Help me to be weak so that I can trust You totally.  Father, renew my mind and heart daily.  Please grant me mercy when I mess up.  Father, I love You and I thank YOU for the trials/tests/and temptations.  Father, I don't like them but if they are to move me out of my own way, then thank YOU.   Father, have Your way with me.  Amen.  Amen."