I'm a bad b*tch. I really am. I can work all day, come home, take care of the kids, put dinner on the table, fold some laundry, write a blog post, make love to my husband and make it all look easy. That's on Monday. On Tuesday, I am doing it all over again. By Wednesday, I am tired and by Sunday, I'm a bit cranky. Why? Because while I can do it all (and make it look easy), I shouldn't have to. And neither should you. You should not be a married "single parent."
Did you notice that I did not write "single mother?" I purposefully wrote single parent because either gender can mentally check out of a marriage/family. I've even devised a little test to help you figure out if you have checked out of your family life:
1. Can you name all of your child's teachers?
2. Can you put away the laundry in your home? Do you know where everything goes?
3. When something goes wrong in your household, do the kids walk past you and go searching for your spouse to fix it?
4. Do you abdicate responsibility and leave it up to your spouse to make the big decisions?
5. Is your word your bond? Does your family believe that you are going to do what you say you are going to do?
So how did you score? Are you the overachieving parent or the slacker parent? See there are problems with both. The "married single parent" feels as if they have no help and they have to do it all. This parent juggles entirely too much and is probably worn out. They are no longer serving their family in love. They are serving their family but totally pissed about not getting any help. But the reality is, they created this monster. The "married single parent" never asked for any help in the beginning so years later the slacker spouse has no idea where they fit in. The "married single parent" thinks that "if I don't do it, it will never get done."
The "slacker parent" doesn't know how to jump into the family life again. They don't want to do something wrong so it is easier to just stay out of it. The slacker parent tried to jump into the fray but got shot down when they didn't do it the way the other parent did.
Do either of these parents sound familiar? So now what? How can they both turn into effective co-parents? Simple answer: the married single parent has to loosen the reins and give the slacker parent freedom to fail. The slacker parent has to assert themselves and complete tasks. That's the simple answer. But what does that actually look like?
Tips for the Married Single Parent:
1. Open your mouth. Share your to-do list with your spouse.
2. Give your spouse room to fail. If they make a mistake, don't rub their nose in it.
3. Let them do things their way. Who cares if they fold towels in squares instead of rectangles? Let them do it their way. Bottom line is it's getting done.
Tips for the Slacker Parent:
1. Complete a task. Complete a task, any task. Boost your self-confidence by completing something on your to-do list.
2. Ask for help, guidance if you need it. If you haven't been involved in a while, it's ok to ask for help. But remember you are asking for help, not asking for your spouse to take over.
3. Make your word your bond. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Your spouse learns to trust you to help by the things that you do, not the things that you say you are going to do.
Bottom line: There is always going to be an ebb and flow to marriage and co-parenting. Sometimes you will do more, others your spouse will. But if you work to make sure that the tide doesn't always flow one way, then you can go from a "married single parent" to an "effective co-parent."
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/31/12
"Father, it seems as if attacks on our marriage or us as individuals come almost daily. I refuse to focus on the attack but instead will turn my eyes to the hills because I know that YOU are there moving divinely on my behalf. I thank YOU for always working it out. Jesus, help us to not just endure but to thrive. Help us to not just survive but to live abundantly. Father, thank YOU for YOUR provision and care. I love YOU and thank YOU! Amen. Amen."
Monday, January 30, 2012
Middle of the Night Musings
On those romantic comedy movies, when a person wakes up in the middle of the night, they roll over and start kissing their mate until they wake up. That is immediately followed by amazing sex. Ummmm, does that happen? Honestly, sometimes but other times here is what your wife is thinking when she wakes up in the middle of the night...
1. Who stole all of the covers?
2. What's that smell?
3. I wonder what would happen if I did ....?
4. I wonder if he will wake up if I rub it?
5. I should move the laundry around.
6. Is it wrong to masturbate while he is sleep?
7. I am hungry.
8. Is it wrong to poot in the bed if he is sleep?
9. I want someone to talk to. If I pinch him maybe he will wake up on his own and talk to me.
10. I'm still sleepy.
1. Who stole all of the covers?
2. What's that smell?
3. I wonder what would happen if I did ....?
4. I wonder if he will wake up if I rub it?
5. I should move the laundry around.
6. Is it wrong to masturbate while he is sleep?
7. I am hungry.
8. Is it wrong to poot in the bed if he is sleep?
9. I want someone to talk to. If I pinch him maybe he will wake up on his own and talk to me.
10. I'm still sleepy.
#MarriagePrayer 1/30/12
Major Renovation
I was that way with my many tattoos. I was that way the time I shaved my head. I was that way when I went blonde (those where my Beyonce years!) I was that way when I loc'd my hair. I mull it over but when I know that it is time to act; I act with in 24-48 hours. And that is what I did this time. But there is one problem that I didn't expect: This self renovation will take more than 24 hours to complete.
All of my previous self-renovations provided a bit of instant gratification. But this time the self-renovation project is much bigger. (Ok, I know by now you are dying to know what it is. I'm not gonna tell you. Sorry.) And a project this size takes time and patience. I am not the best at either one. So maybe this self-reno project is more than just a minor change - maybe this one is a major step forward. I've committed myself to the process and am interested to see what happens next. Aren't you?
Friday, January 27, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/27/12
"Jesus, I'm really kinda mad this morning. Please deal with me & my temper. I really hate repeating myself when making requests of people. And when they let me down, I get angry. But then I have to step back and realize that You make requests of me everyday & I let YOU down repeatedly. I am truly sorry for that. Thank YOU for not getting as angry with me as I get with those that let me down. Please teach me to give them the same forgiveness that You extend to me. Let my anger dissipate as I release this prayer to YOU. I love YOU and Thank YOU. Amen. Amen."
Thursday, January 26, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/26/12
"Father, thank YOU for today. Thank YOU for growth - even painful growth. Father, I know that I am not what I need to be yet, but I am so thankful that You are patient w/me. As I look back over my life, I can see how far You've brought me. I may not have enjoyed the process but I am thankful for the growth. James 1: 2-4 states:
' Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.'
I know that the testing of my faith has been hard, and there are times when I still fail the test. But thank YOU for offering retests until i get it right. Jesus, I am so thankful for YOUR patience and mercy. Amen. Amen."
' Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.'
I know that the testing of my faith has been hard, and there are times when I still fail the test. But thank YOU for offering retests until i get it right. Jesus, I am so thankful for YOUR patience and mercy. Amen. Amen."
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Thoughts on My Anniversary
Last week my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary... well, celebrating wasn't the right term since I spent the evening in the MinuteClinic seeking help for a fever and sinus infection.. but he sent flowers therefore the term stands. I guess technically we celebrated the anniversary of our wedding. But we celebrated so much more. We celebrated our love. We celebrated tested love. We celebrated growth. We celebrated the choice to love. We celebrated our commitment to love, each other, and our family.
While we marked the occasion with Vick's Vapor Rub and prescription meds, the fact that we still share the same bed, the same house, the same last name was enough of a celebration. I'm not going to recap the past few years but the fact that we are still together is not because we are without fault, but because we have found ways to love each other despite our faults.
And I love him. I actually love him more today than I did on my wedding day. We've both grown so much and I have to admit that the man that I met went on that first date with is totally different than the man that I married. And the man that I married is not the same man that lies beside me at night. I catch glimpses of those men from time to time but the man that I love is a new person. And I'm a different woman. I am not that 19 year old girl who was giddy at the sight of this cute boy walking across campus. I am now a mid-thirties woman who is ecstatic at the sight of this handsome man reaching for me. And I am ok with that...
See I now realize that married life is not some cute "happily ever after" tome. No, married life is a white water rafting ride. Sometimes you have level 3 rapids. Other times you have level 1 bumps. Sometimes the water gets so rough that you get tossed out of the boat. But we've made the commitment to keep trying to get back in the boat and see the ride through until the end.
That commitment is what we celebrated last week when we marked the day called "Our Anniversary."
While we marked the occasion with Vick's Vapor Rub and prescription meds, the fact that we still share the same bed, the same house, the same last name was enough of a celebration. I'm not going to recap the past few years but the fact that we are still together is not because we are without fault, but because we have found ways to love each other despite our faults.
And I love him. I actually love him more today than I did on my wedding day. We've both grown so much and I have to admit that the man that I met went on that first date with is totally different than the man that I married. And the man that I married is not the same man that lies beside me at night. I catch glimpses of those men from time to time but the man that I love is a new person. And I'm a different woman. I am not that 19 year old girl who was giddy at the sight of this cute boy walking across campus. I am now a mid-thirties woman who is ecstatic at the sight of this handsome man reaching for me. And I am ok with that...
See I now realize that married life is not some cute "happily ever after" tome. No, married life is a white water rafting ride. Sometimes you have level 3 rapids. Other times you have level 1 bumps. Sometimes the water gets so rough that you get tossed out of the boat. But we've made the commitment to keep trying to get back in the boat and see the ride through until the end.
That commitment is what we celebrated last week when we marked the day called "Our Anniversary."
Spare the Rod
Proverbs 13:24
"Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."
Most parents have heard the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child." Many of us use the phrase as a justification for us spanking/whooping/beating our children. But have we ever read the entire verse in the Bible? The word that sticks out to me is "careful." We have to be "careful to discipline them." I think that care is something that is lost on most parents.
Think about it: you were trained for your job, you were trained to drive your car, but what did you do to train for becoming a parent. If you are like most folks that I know, that "training" involved a good time and a messed up form of birth control. Or if you were really advanced you attended a childbirth class. That's great for getting a little person into the world but then what? Have you trained to handle a toddler? Have you trained to deal with a middle schooler? What about training to deal with a college student? Most folks would answer "no." And that's a problem.
The mere ability to reproduce does not make a person a good parent. Just because your mama was a good mama, doesn't mean you will be a good parent. Being a good parent is innate in some folks. But what about the rest of the folks? Are they actively seeking training to become better parents?
I readily admit that I am not Dr. Spock or a child psychologist. But I am a scholar (normally, I am called a nerd). I believe in researching and trying different techniques to effectively parent my children. From reading articles on the web to checking out books at the library to talking to youth workers; I surround myself and my children with information to help us communicate better. Why? Because I love my children and want to be careful with the precious gifts that God has given me.
I want to make sure that nothing I say or do crushes any of their dreams. I want to make sure that they know that I love them, support them, believe in them. I want my children to come to me if they are ever in trouble. That doesn't mean that they get a pass to act a fool, but it does mean that we will deal with it and I will still love them despite their misdeeds. I love my children enough to use care with them.
So take a moment a access your parenting skills. If you have a deficit in an area, work on improving it. Seek help at churches, youth groups, schools, or grab a book from the library. Check yourself. If you can't objectively judge your own actions, take a look at how your children treat each other. What you see may shock you. When I saw how my oldest child was speaking to my youngest, I had to check my own tongue... Now I make a conscious effort to speak life to not only correct misbehavior but to praise good behavior.
So use care when disciplining your child, but make sure it comes from a place of love.
"Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."
Most parents have heard the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child." Many of us use the phrase as a justification for us spanking/whooping/beating our children. But have we ever read the entire verse in the Bible? The word that sticks out to me is "careful." We have to be "careful to discipline them." I think that care is something that is lost on most parents.
Think about it: you were trained for your job, you were trained to drive your car, but what did you do to train for becoming a parent. If you are like most folks that I know, that "training" involved a good time and a messed up form of birth control. Or if you were really advanced you attended a childbirth class. That's great for getting a little person into the world but then what? Have you trained to handle a toddler? Have you trained to deal with a middle schooler? What about training to deal with a college student? Most folks would answer "no." And that's a problem.
The mere ability to reproduce does not make a person a good parent. Just because your mama was a good mama, doesn't mean you will be a good parent. Being a good parent is innate in some folks. But what about the rest of the folks? Are they actively seeking training to become better parents?
I readily admit that I am not Dr. Spock or a child psychologist. But I am a scholar (normally, I am called a nerd). I believe in researching and trying different techniques to effectively parent my children. From reading articles on the web to checking out books at the library to talking to youth workers; I surround myself and my children with information to help us communicate better. Why? Because I love my children and want to be careful with the precious gifts that God has given me.
I want to make sure that nothing I say or do crushes any of their dreams. I want to make sure that they know that I love them, support them, believe in them. I want my children to come to me if they are ever in trouble. That doesn't mean that they get a pass to act a fool, but it does mean that we will deal with it and I will still love them despite their misdeeds. I love my children enough to use care with them.
So take a moment a access your parenting skills. If you have a deficit in an area, work on improving it. Seek help at churches, youth groups, schools, or grab a book from the library. Check yourself. If you can't objectively judge your own actions, take a look at how your children treat each other. What you see may shock you. When I saw how my oldest child was speaking to my youngest, I had to check my own tongue... Now I make a conscious effort to speak life to not only correct misbehavior but to praise good behavior.
So use care when disciplining your child, but make sure it comes from a place of love.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/24/12
"Father, thank YOU for today. This morning I just want to say that I love YOU. I thank YOU for all that YOU have done for me, my marriage, and my family. Father, I just want to take a moment to lift up Your name and say loudly that I love YOU. I love You for who YOU are and I love You for loving me. Thank You for sharing that love, grace, and mercy everyday. Help me to share those gifts with people that I encounter daily. I love You and Thank YOU. Amen. Amen."
Monday, January 23, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/23/12
"Father, let me just keep it real with You today. Father, I am tired. I am physically exhausted this morning. Please be with me extra close today so that I present myself the way You want me to. Father, please watch over my child and help ease her fear of storms. Please watch over my husband during the course of his day. Father, Please keep YOUR hand on all of the children so that no harm comes to them. And Jesus, help me to prioritize Your will for my life. I feel that you have placed so many things on my heart that sometimes I run at all of them full speed and grow physically weary. Father, please tell me what order You want me to complete the tasks. God, I know that You hear my prayers and love even me. Father, I thank YOU and I love YOU. Amen. Amen."
Friday, January 20, 2012
Take a Look at Yourself
Ok, this is another kick in the rear end type of post. Are you ready? Seatbelt fastened? Ok, let's go...
I want everyone to take a good look at themselves in the mirror. Seriously. Pull out a mirror and take a look at yourself. Ask yourself this one question: "If I met myself at the club, would I want to have sex with me?" I know, it's not real deep but it's real. Look at yourself. Do you like what you see? If you were out and about and saw your mirror image, would you holla' at that person? If you answered either of these questions negatively, then guess what? You have work to do.
Let's be honest if you are married or in a committed relationship for a long time there is a tendency to get comfortable. Well, "getting comfortable" isn't the correct terminology. It should be called "I am so focused on my career, my family, trying to keep this house together, pursue this advanced degree, make this money, teach this child to read, serve my community, and my spouse that I have no time for me itis." It's not that you "got comfortable." You got incredibly busy. But how does that play a part in your marriage/relationship? I'm not just talking about how your partner feels about you, but how do you feel about yourself?
I know, I know. You are thinking that your spouse should love you for you? And they should. I have witnessed my grandmother offer loving care to my terminally ill grandfather. In those final weeks, I am sure dressing up and looking "fresh" weren't anywhere on their todo list. But if you are not battling a serious ailment, then you should upgrade your look. Why? Because your spouse deserves your best.
Let's think about it for a second. If you were still on the dating scene you would take better care of yourself. Your hair would stay whipped. Your figure tight. The mani-pedi would be flawless. And it's not just the ladies that would come correct. Fellas know that before they hit the club they are Diddy-clean. Fades are lined up geometry straight. They are looking good! Sometimes the care and attention to detail start to fade after you've been with someone awhile. Speaking from personal experience, it's not that I don't want to get my nails done, but when I weigh that against braces, groceries, and the light bill my nails don't seem that important anymore. But my spouse deserves the best me that I can be. He deserves me looking my best. He deserves to have a spouse that he is proud of on his arm.
And beyond looking cute for my spouse, I deserve to be fabulous. I deserve to take time to keep myself looking nice. I deserve some "me time." When you look better, you feel better about yourself. You have more confidence. You walk taller. You put a little extra pep in your step. No, I am not saying your looks are the most important thing in your relationship. But they are part of the package.
So stop. Check yourself out in the mirror. If you see something that isn't to your liking, work on it. Sometimes you can upgrade your relationship by upgrading yourself.
I want everyone to take a good look at themselves in the mirror. Seriously. Pull out a mirror and take a look at yourself. Ask yourself this one question: "If I met myself at the club, would I want to have sex with me?" I know, it's not real deep but it's real. Look at yourself. Do you like what you see? If you were out and about and saw your mirror image, would you holla' at that person? If you answered either of these questions negatively, then guess what? You have work to do.
Let's be honest if you are married or in a committed relationship for a long time there is a tendency to get comfortable. Well, "getting comfortable" isn't the correct terminology. It should be called "I am so focused on my career, my family, trying to keep this house together, pursue this advanced degree, make this money, teach this child to read, serve my community, and my spouse that I have no time for me itis." It's not that you "got comfortable." You got incredibly busy. But how does that play a part in your marriage/relationship? I'm not just talking about how your partner feels about you, but how do you feel about yourself?
I know, I know. You are thinking that your spouse should love you for you? And they should. I have witnessed my grandmother offer loving care to my terminally ill grandfather. In those final weeks, I am sure dressing up and looking "fresh" weren't anywhere on their todo list. But if you are not battling a serious ailment, then you should upgrade your look. Why? Because your spouse deserves your best.
Let's think about it for a second. If you were still on the dating scene you would take better care of yourself. Your hair would stay whipped. Your figure tight. The mani-pedi would be flawless. And it's not just the ladies that would come correct. Fellas know that before they hit the club they are Diddy-clean. Fades are lined up geometry straight. They are looking good! Sometimes the care and attention to detail start to fade after you've been with someone awhile. Speaking from personal experience, it's not that I don't want to get my nails done, but when I weigh that against braces, groceries, and the light bill my nails don't seem that important anymore. But my spouse deserves the best me that I can be. He deserves me looking my best. He deserves to have a spouse that he is proud of on his arm.
And beyond looking cute for my spouse, I deserve to be fabulous. I deserve to take time to keep myself looking nice. I deserve some "me time." When you look better, you feel better about yourself. You have more confidence. You walk taller. You put a little extra pep in your step. No, I am not saying your looks are the most important thing in your relationship. But they are part of the package.
So stop. Check yourself out in the mirror. If you see something that isn't to your liking, work on it. Sometimes you can upgrade your relationship by upgrading yourself.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/19/12 & 1/20/12
"Father, endow me. Endow me with whatever gift of the Holy Spirit that You want me to have. Father, take out all that is not like YOU and help me to grow and be better. Jesus, consecrate me, sanctify me, move me into whatever position that YOU want me to be in. I want to be where YOU are so that I can be a blessing and not a curse to my husband and family. Father, endow me. I say yes to Your will. Amen. Amen."
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/18/12
"Father, thank YOU for today. Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for the direction and wisdom that it gives if we seek it. Thank YOU for another chance to seek You. Father, just renew me every hour. Renew my spouse every hour. Keep the path that You want us to travel well defined. Father, I love You and Thank You. Amen. Amen."
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Martin and Me...
We've - I've - got to do better. As a community, we all have to do better. I know you are thinking, "isn't this a marriage blog?" Well, yes and no. I believe that strong marriages make strong families and strong families make strong communities. Today I am dealing with the strong communities portion. Here's why:
Yesterday was a wonderful MLK day in Nashville. My family and friends took part in the MLK events at Tennessee State University (my alma mater). At the convocation, Dr. Steve Perry got in our asses. Literally. He laid out the Tennessee education system and called us all co-conspirators. And guess what? He's right. Everyday I sit here with my pompous, M.Ed.-having tail and think "Well, my kids are ok because they are smart and they know I value education." While that is partially true, Dr. Steve Perry reminded the audience that the best Tennessee kids are just the best scholars of the worst education system in America. And that just isn't good enough. We've - I've - got to do better.
After Dr. Perry verbally kicked my butt, I took my bruised posterior over to Vanderbilt University to hear Rep. John Lewis (D-GA) speak about the "beloved community." He implored us all to be active, to take a stand for right in our community. To be champions of a cause. To write our congressfolks and let them know what we think about what they are doing. To vote. We've - I've - got to do better.
So instead of telling you what YOU should do, I am going to tell you what I am going to do. I have to be the change that I want to see in the world, right?:
1. I am going to speak to people and smile more. That is so major for me. I type and I ponder. But actually smiling and speaking is something that I am definitely working on.
2. I am going to a school board meeting, not as a journalist, but to have my voice heard as a community stakeholder. I need to know how the decision making process for my school system works and then I need to work the system.
3. I am going to attend a neighborhood meeting and join a committee. Attending a meeting and complaining about stuff isn't productive. It's time for committee work.
4. I am going to forgive folks that I don't like. It's easy to be nice to and forgive folks I love, but folks I don't like - well, I struggle in that area. But I am going to forgive and speak nice to those that have offended me.
5. I am going to be more present when with my family. No more checking work email, looking for a job, writing the next post while talking with my family. They deserve my undivided attention.
See 5 little steps. I know you are looking at the list and thinking "You really entitled this 'Martin and me' and that is all that you are doing?" And my answer is "YES!" See I can't advocate for change anywhere if my own little piece of the planet is jacked up. So I am starting at my house. I am going to make sure that the lessons learned on MLK day aren't forgotten a mere 24 hours later. I'm starting with me.
Yesterday was a wonderful MLK day in Nashville. My family and friends took part in the MLK events at Tennessee State University (my alma mater). At the convocation, Dr. Steve Perry got in our asses. Literally. He laid out the Tennessee education system and called us all co-conspirators. And guess what? He's right. Everyday I sit here with my pompous, M.Ed.-having tail and think "Well, my kids are ok because they are smart and they know I value education." While that is partially true, Dr. Steve Perry reminded the audience that the best Tennessee kids are just the best scholars of the worst education system in America. And that just isn't good enough. We've - I've - got to do better.
After Dr. Perry verbally kicked my butt, I took my bruised posterior over to Vanderbilt University to hear Rep. John Lewis (D-GA) speak about the "beloved community." He implored us all to be active, to take a stand for right in our community. To be champions of a cause. To write our congressfolks and let them know what we think about what they are doing. To vote. We've - I've - got to do better.
So instead of telling you what YOU should do, I am going to tell you what I am going to do. I have to be the change that I want to see in the world, right?:
1. I am going to speak to people and smile more. That is so major for me. I type and I ponder. But actually smiling and speaking is something that I am definitely working on.
2. I am going to a school board meeting, not as a journalist, but to have my voice heard as a community stakeholder. I need to know how the decision making process for my school system works and then I need to work the system.
3. I am going to attend a neighborhood meeting and join a committee. Attending a meeting and complaining about stuff isn't productive. It's time for committee work.
4. I am going to forgive folks that I don't like. It's easy to be nice to and forgive folks I love, but folks I don't like - well, I struggle in that area. But I am going to forgive and speak nice to those that have offended me.
5. I am going to be more present when with my family. No more checking work email, looking for a job, writing the next post while talking with my family. They deserve my undivided attention.
See 5 little steps. I know you are looking at the list and thinking "You really entitled this 'Martin and me' and that is all that you are doing?" And my answer is "YES!" See I can't advocate for change anywhere if my own little piece of the planet is jacked up. So I am starting at my house. I am going to make sure that the lessons learned on MLK day aren't forgotten a mere 24 hours later. I'm starting with me.
#MarriagePrayer 1/17/12
"Father, let all of the passions be lit anew this morning. Yesterday, many of us listened to speeches and heard people talk about the beloved community. Let's take it one step further and say 'Your Kingdom Come.' Today let me be a better ambassador for Your kingdom. Let me fix my attitude, my words, & my life so that I am a better ambassador for YOU. Jesus, I know that You are love so let me love more. Let me speak kinder, let me love harder, let me forgive completely. Father, I love YOU and thank YOU. Amen. Amen."
Monday, January 16, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/16/12
Father, I just want to thank You for change. Thank You for changing me. Thank You for changing my marriage. Thank You for changing hearts and minds. But thank YOU for being unchanging. Father, I am so thankful that YOU love me the same everyday. Father, I know that strong families are the backbones of strong communities and that by uniting with others that love YOU we can impact our communities. With Your guidance we can change our communities for the better and become kingdom builders. Father help us to be about Your work. We love YOU and thank YOU! Amen!
Friday, January 13, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/13/12
"Father, Thank YOU for my spouse. Thank You for designing him directly for me. Father, please lift him up. Keep him safe from all harm. Father, give him wisdom so that the decision he makes regarding our household be rooted in Your will. Amplify his hard work so that his work is not in vain. Wrap him in Your love so that he never feels alone. Father, just help him be all that YOU have called him to be. I love You and I thank YOU. Amen."
Thursday, January 12, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/12/12
Every now and again I write the #marriageprayer, and it just doesn't speak to my spirit. When that happens, I scrap it and start again. Today is one of those times. I wrote and published the #marriageprayer and had to erase it and start over because God had something else for me to say.
"Father, In Joel 2: 21-27 Your Word speaks about how after trials You will restore all that had been taken. God, You know that the past 10 years of marriage have been difficult. It has been attacked by illness and infidelity and financial woes. God, I am believing YOUR Word and it states You will restore the years the locust have eaten. You will have our threshing floor overflow with grain. You will bless us and turn every situation around. And because of all that we have been through, because of who You are, we will never forget to give YOU the glory. Because it was YOU who guided us through the storms and it is YOU who keeps us through the trials that come. I love YOU and thank YOU. Amen!"
"Father, In Joel 2: 21-27 Your Word speaks about how after trials You will restore all that had been taken. God, You know that the past 10 years of marriage have been difficult. It has been attacked by illness and infidelity and financial woes. God, I am believing YOUR Word and it states You will restore the years the locust have eaten. You will have our threshing floor overflow with grain. You will bless us and turn every situation around. And because of all that we have been through, because of who You are, we will never forget to give YOU the glory. Because it was YOU who guided us through the storms and it is YOU who keeps us through the trials that come. I love YOU and thank YOU. Amen!"
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Power of God
Quite often we hear about the love of God, the forgiveness of God, the mercy of God, But a friend recently pointed out to me that we like to forget about the wrath of God. What? Gasp? What do you mean? God doesn't love us? Of course God loves us. He created us. But we have to be aware of the wrath of God that comes to correct us and punish us when we do wrong. Why do we forget about this? I think it is because we don't like to be corrected. Psalm 7:11 states that "God is a righteous judge, a God who displays his wrath every day." Yep, everyday. God will correct you when you are wrong. Ephesians 5:6 says, "Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient." How do I know? Because I have been corrected many times over. (Yes, I am a bit hardheaded!)
But beyond correction, God is there to fight for us. Yes, I said it, fight for us. Psalm 3:6-8 reads "6 I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side. 7 Arise, LORD! Deliver me, my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked. 8 From the LORD comes deliverance." Now make sure you read that again. It didn't say "help the Lord kick the butt of your enemies." The psalmist cried out to God and God stepped in to deal with the enemy. Remember, only God can decide the measure of punishment to be given out. Romans 12:19 states, "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord."
Pray for forgiveness and that you never has to experience God's wrath. But know that if you repent and turn away for wicked behavior, our Father will welcome you back into the fold.
But beyond correction, God is there to fight for us. Yes, I said it, fight for us. Psalm 3:6-8 reads "6 I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side. 7 Arise, LORD! Deliver me, my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked. 8 From the LORD comes deliverance." Now make sure you read that again. It didn't say "help the Lord kick the butt of your enemies." The psalmist cried out to God and God stepped in to deal with the enemy. Remember, only God can decide the measure of punishment to be given out. Romans 12:19 states, "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord."
Pray for forgiveness and that you never has to experience God's wrath. But know that if you repent and turn away for wicked behavior, our Father will welcome you back into the fold.
#MarriagePrayer 1/11/12
"Father, thank You for this rainy day. Thank You for sending reminders of how You work. I really don't like the rain but I understand that we have to have rain now to have a green spring. And You work like that in our lives. There are times that we have to endure the rain/hard times because it will bear fruit/blessings later on. So I thank You for Your order, will, and plan. Thank You for times that I don't know what YOU are doing but I have to rely on faith, trust, and obedience. Thank You for Your divine hand on my life. I love YOU and thank YOU! Amen! Amen!"
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/10/12
"Father, I just want to thank You for You today. Father, thank You for being forgiving, merciful, patient, and just. Thank You for correcting me and dealing with me. I might not always like it while You are working on me, but I know that when I look back I can see how You used fire to purge me. Thank You for teaching me. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for always welcoming me back after I make a mistake. I love You and bless You! Amen. Amen."
Monday, January 9, 2012
Falling Down and Getting Up - Again
It's funny how God will slap you upside the head when you least expect it. Let's be honest - recently I haven't been passing the test. If you are a frequent reader of this site, you know that some recent comments on posts I've written have been... well, let's just say unpleasant. And I didn't handle it well. I was mad. (I would actually write I was f-ing p***** but the Ma'at's have a no cussing policy.) It wasn't so much the comments that were flying at me. I'm used to that. I am the one that put my life on blast by writing about it and I recognize that people are allowed to have different opinions. But it was the level of malice with the false air of familiarity that got under my skin. So much so that I had to pause for a second and regroup.
By regrouping; I mean I had to pause, shut up, and really remember how God has blessed me. See 5 years ago, I was a mess. (Truth be told, I'm still a mess but just a bit less of a mess.) Then my world crumbled when my marriage did. And I behaved badly. For years I was a functioning angeraholic. I literally cussed out more people than I could count. I wrote nasty emails. At one point I even threw punches. I was raging out of control. But I was hard headed. Until one day it all came crashing down.
I actually know the exact date of my road to Damascus moment. My husband had been caught cheating - again. My health was failing. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. That night before I went to bed, I literally cried out to God, "Help me or don't wake me up because I can't do this anymore." I went to sleep and woke up lighter. Pastors always say "joy comes in the morning" but I never believed it until it happened to me. Nothing about my situation had changed, but I had changed. God gave me hope. Not hope in my marriage but hope in Him. And as long as I had faith in Him and was hearing from Him, everything else was manageable. I knew that God would take care of me whether my husband left or not. I knew that God would take care of me as long as I obeyed Him. My prayer was no longer "God please save my marriage." It became "Your will be done." That shift in spirit and mindset made all the difference.
So fast forward a few years and I can admit that I handled the comments poorly. I led with anger. In the book The Bait of Satan, John Bevere writes that "just because you are mistreated, you do not have permission to hold on to an offense." That is what I immediately did. I got angry and held onto the offense. Like everyone who tries to stay on the good foot, I trip from time to time. Donnie McClurkin even wrote a song about it. But now I know that if I fall down; it's time to stay down, get on my knees, and pray. That's what I have to do to keep myself on the right path. The more that I keep myself on the path, the better person I am which in turn means that I am a better wife and mother.
This is what I try to convey at 7am CST every Monday through Friday with the #marriageprayer on twitter. I try to remind myself to start the day on the right path. I start the day thanking God not only for who He is but for all that He's done in my life. Saving my marriage is awesome. But that's just icing on the cake. I am most thankful that He not only saved me but continues to save me daily.
By regrouping; I mean I had to pause, shut up, and really remember how God has blessed me. See 5 years ago, I was a mess. (Truth be told, I'm still a mess but just a bit less of a mess.) Then my world crumbled when my marriage did. And I behaved badly. For years I was a functioning angeraholic. I literally cussed out more people than I could count. I wrote nasty emails. At one point I even threw punches. I was raging out of control. But I was hard headed. Until one day it all came crashing down.
I actually know the exact date of my road to Damascus moment. My husband had been caught cheating - again. My health was failing. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. That night before I went to bed, I literally cried out to God, "Help me or don't wake me up because I can't do this anymore." I went to sleep and woke up lighter. Pastors always say "joy comes in the morning" but I never believed it until it happened to me. Nothing about my situation had changed, but I had changed. God gave me hope. Not hope in my marriage but hope in Him. And as long as I had faith in Him and was hearing from Him, everything else was manageable. I knew that God would take care of me whether my husband left or not. I knew that God would take care of me as long as I obeyed Him. My prayer was no longer "God please save my marriage." It became "Your will be done." That shift in spirit and mindset made all the difference.
So fast forward a few years and I can admit that I handled the comments poorly. I led with anger. In the book The Bait of Satan, John Bevere writes that "just because you are mistreated, you do not have permission to hold on to an offense." That is what I immediately did. I got angry and held onto the offense. Like everyone who tries to stay on the good foot, I trip from time to time. Donnie McClurkin even wrote a song about it. But now I know that if I fall down; it's time to stay down, get on my knees, and pray. That's what I have to do to keep myself on the right path. The more that I keep myself on the path, the better person I am which in turn means that I am a better wife and mother.
This is what I try to convey at 7am CST every Monday through Friday with the #marriageprayer on twitter. I try to remind myself to start the day on the right path. I start the day thanking God not only for who He is but for all that He's done in my life. Saving my marriage is awesome. But that's just icing on the cake. I am most thankful that He not only saved me but continues to save me daily.
Trust
Trust. Have you ever stopped to think about how important trust is to your marriage? In my opinion trust is second most important attribute in a covenant. (The first is love of course.) But trust is the thing that most people take for granted. You never really worry about when to say "I trust you" the way we agonize over when to say "I love you." You can't think back to the moment when you first realized that you trusted your spouse, can you? But I bet you can remember the moment you realized that you loved them, right? See that's my point.. while trust is the 2nd most important thing to marriage, it's the thing that we seem to overlook. Why? Because you will trust your spouse until they have been proven to be untrustworthy.
And when that happens, everything shifts. The covenant is cracked and everything is questioned. So how do you get back from that point of mistrust? It is slow hard, meticulous work. How long it takes to regain trust is directly related to the of the infraction. Period. There isn't a magic trust wand that you can wave to erase the hurt caused by a misdeed. You have to regain and rebuild trust. Did you notice those two words? Regain and rebuild. And those are two different words. Regain means that you have to stop whatever behavior that you were engaged in that caused the trust to be lost. You have to start living with integrity. Your word has to be your bond. Rebuild means that you have to use emotional brick and mortar to reconstruct your marriage. Your marriage will never be the way it was before the infraction. Ever. Stop trying to get that back because it's gone. But you can rebuild the marriage with a new model. Think about it. If a tornado leveled your house you could build it back, but you would probably build it better than it was before, right? The same can be said of marriage. It has to be better. And it takes time to get to better. Lots of time. And that means that it takes lots of patience to get to better - to get back to trusting again.
And when that happens, everything shifts. The covenant is cracked and everything is questioned. So how do you get back from that point of mistrust? It is slow hard, meticulous work. How long it takes to regain trust is directly related to the of the infraction. Period. There isn't a magic trust wand that you can wave to erase the hurt caused by a misdeed. You have to regain and rebuild trust. Did you notice those two words? Regain and rebuild. And those are two different words. Regain means that you have to stop whatever behavior that you were engaged in that caused the trust to be lost. You have to start living with integrity. Your word has to be your bond. Rebuild means that you have to use emotional brick and mortar to reconstruct your marriage. Your marriage will never be the way it was before the infraction. Ever. Stop trying to get that back because it's gone. But you can rebuild the marriage with a new model. Think about it. If a tornado leveled your house you could build it back, but you would probably build it better than it was before, right? The same can be said of marriage. It has to be better. And it takes time to get to better. Lots of time. And that means that it takes lots of patience to get to better - to get back to trusting again.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 01/09/12
"Father, help me be a better me. Help me be exactly who You want me to be. Help me to see the role You want me to play in kingdom building. God, please deal with my temper. Please deal with my wrong attitude. Let me always keep focused on You and nothing else. Amen."
Shut the Hell Up - well, maybe not
Actually, the title could be the entire post. But I guess I will elaborate. I am a writer. I write MY truth. And there are people who seemed hell bent on hating what I do. I get it. You are friends of hers. You don't like me. Or you are friends of the enemy and don't like kingdom building. Or you are just a hater and as Katt Williams says "Haters are going to hate. That's what they do." Whatever category you fall into, fine. Play your role. Do you. But watch me do me - and my family - well.
See, your comments while annoying don't change my position on anything. At all. Why? Because you are not in my home and you are not my God. I listen to my God, my fam, and my prayer circle. That's all. The end. Was your name on the list? I don't think so. So you are a spectator to this testimony, but not a participant.
If you are oh-so-concerned where were you a few years back? Before I learned to lean on the Lord. When I was really going through? Where you there? Nope. You are only here to make noise now. So you know what? Don't shut up. Be noisy. Click and read and comment to your hearts content. Gotta love the page views. You are keeping me in demand - so let me thank you. Thank you girl!
See, your comments while annoying don't change my position on anything. At all. Why? Because you are not in my home and you are not my God. I listen to my God, my fam, and my prayer circle. That's all. The end. Was your name on the list? I don't think so. So you are a spectator to this testimony, but not a participant.
If you are oh-so-concerned where were you a few years back? Before I learned to lean on the Lord. When I was really going through? Where you there? Nope. You are only here to make noise now. So you know what? Don't shut up. Be noisy. Click and read and comment to your hearts content. Gotta love the page views. You are keeping me in demand - so let me thank you. Thank you girl!
Friday, January 6, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/6/12
"Father, Let Your Love rain down again, cover me with grace again, fill me with Your power, Lord, again. Let Your Love rain down again. Cover me with grace again. Fill me with Your power, Lord, again! LET YOUR LOVE RAIN DOWN AGAIN. COVER ME WITH GRACE AGAIN. FILL ME WITH YOUR POWER LORD, AGAIN! AMEN."
Thursday, January 5, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/5/12
"Father,
Thank YOU for another day. Thank YOU for another chance to be an ambassador for You. God, can I just be frank this morning? This marriage thing is hard work. This trying to live righteous thing is hard work. God, I know that when a person tries to work for Your Glory that attacks will come. And I know that the attacks are designed to strengthen me and my spouse. So I am going to give YOU Glory even though I am tired. I am going to praise YOU even though I am weary. I am going to praise You even though I am going through fiscally. Because Your Word says 'Be not weary in well doing." So Father, I am going to love, praise, worship in spite of my fatigue. Thank You for Your mercy, power, awesomeness, grace. I love You because You are God, because of all You have done, and all that You will do! Amen. Amen."
Thank YOU for another day. Thank YOU for another chance to be an ambassador for You. God, can I just be frank this morning? This marriage thing is hard work. This trying to live righteous thing is hard work. God, I know that when a person tries to work for Your Glory that attacks will come. And I know that the attacks are designed to strengthen me and my spouse. So I am going to give YOU Glory even though I am tired. I am going to praise YOU even though I am weary. I am going to praise You even though I am going through fiscally. Because Your Word says 'Be not weary in well doing." So Father, I am going to love, praise, worship in spite of my fatigue. Thank You for Your mercy, power, awesomeness, grace. I love You because You are God, because of all You have done, and all that You will do! Amen. Amen."
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/4/12
"Father,
This morning we come to You on behalf of our husbands. Please guard every head of household that is represented here today. Father, please make them all strong men of God. God protect them from attacks of the enemy. Grant them wisdom as they make decisions that affect the entire family. Mold them into strong priests who can lead by example. God, please enlarge my husbands territory. Please grant him favor among men. Speak to him and make plain Your plan for his life. I love You and thank YOU. Amen. Amen."
This morning we come to You on behalf of our husbands. Please guard every head of household that is represented here today. Father, please make them all strong men of God. God protect them from attacks of the enemy. Grant them wisdom as they make decisions that affect the entire family. Mold them into strong priests who can lead by example. God, please enlarge my husbands territory. Please grant him favor among men. Speak to him and make plain Your plan for his life. I love You and thank YOU. Amen. Amen."
#MarriagePrayer 1/3/12
"Father, thank You for the gift of sex. Thank You for giving me and my spouse desire for each other. Thank You for giving us passion for each other. Thank YOU for designing my spouse directly for me. God, please be a hedge around us and shield us from any temptation. Please help us keep our eyes only on each other and erase all others that we may have known from our memories. Help us to always find comfort in each other's touch. Thank YOU for this gift. Amen. Amen."
Love Never Fails
At nearly every wedding this scripture is read. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails." But with 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, it seems as if love fails daily. But love doesn't fail. Love - which is a gift from God - doesn't fail. God's gifts are divine and perfect. We fail. That's right.. we fail love. Love doesn't fail us.
Think about it. How often have you heard someone say that they and their partner just "grew apart?" Did either of them stop and say to their spouse "hey, I am feeling like we aren't connected anymore. Can we talk about it?" I bet they didn't. That is because folks are scared to be real. They don't want to rock the boat. They don't want to offend anyone. It is so much easier to leave a relationship, than to take a look a yourself and your mate and do the HARD work it takes to improve it.
Folks that make it in relationships are not the ones that never have any controversy. The couples that make it are the ones that unite and work together when controversy arises. And it will arise. Some will be little skirmishes, others will be big. But don't get it twisted - the little problems can grow into giants if they are ignored and fed a constant diet of resentment.
The only way to keep failure at bay is to never lose sight of verses 4 through 7. That is the blueprint for making it. For the techie folks, it is a basic "if-then-else" statement. If you do verses 4-7, then verse 8 -"Love never fails"- will come to pass. But if you ignore verses 4-7, then you fail love. It's that simple. But is it easy? Nope. Verses 4-7 are hard work. Daily hard work. But remember that day a few years ago when you were in church wearing that white dress and some guy was standing next to you wearing a tux and you made a vow to love someone always. Well, that love was a verb not a feeling. Feelings fade. But LOVE is an action. Sometimes love means speaking kindly to your spouse. Sometimes love means fixing their favorite meal. Sometimes love means making love. Sometimes love means shutting up and letting an argument go. Sometimes love means sweet kisses and cuddling. Sometimes love means starting over. See not only is love a verb, it's a transformative verb. It becomes whatever you need it to be.
So the next time you are thinking about throwing in the towel and just walking away, stop and think "Am I failing love?" If so,try again. Because remember love never fails only we can.
Think about it. How often have you heard someone say that they and their partner just "grew apart?" Did either of them stop and say to their spouse "hey, I am feeling like we aren't connected anymore. Can we talk about it?" I bet they didn't. That is because folks are scared to be real. They don't want to rock the boat. They don't want to offend anyone. It is so much easier to leave a relationship, than to take a look a yourself and your mate and do the HARD work it takes to improve it.
Folks that make it in relationships are not the ones that never have any controversy. The couples that make it are the ones that unite and work together when controversy arises. And it will arise. Some will be little skirmishes, others will be big. But don't get it twisted - the little problems can grow into giants if they are ignored and fed a constant diet of resentment.
The only way to keep failure at bay is to never lose sight of verses 4 through 7. That is the blueprint for making it. For the techie folks, it is a basic "if-then-else" statement. If you do verses 4-7, then verse 8 -"Love never fails"- will come to pass. But if you ignore verses 4-7, then you fail love. It's that simple. But is it easy? Nope. Verses 4-7 are hard work. Daily hard work. But remember that day a few years ago when you were in church wearing that white dress and some guy was standing next to you wearing a tux and you made a vow to love someone always. Well, that love was a verb not a feeling. Feelings fade. But LOVE is an action. Sometimes love means speaking kindly to your spouse. Sometimes love means fixing their favorite meal. Sometimes love means making love. Sometimes love means shutting up and letting an argument go. Sometimes love means sweet kisses and cuddling. Sometimes love means starting over. See not only is love a verb, it's a transformative verb. It becomes whatever you need it to be.
So the next time you are thinking about throwing in the towel and just walking away, stop and think "Am I failing love?" If so,try again. Because remember love never fails only we can.
Monday, January 2, 2012
#MarriagePrayer 1/2/12
"God, You ROCK! Thank You for another year. Thank You for another chance to get it right. Thank You for taking care of me all through 2011. Thank You for keep adversity at bay. Thank You for my family. Thank You for my children that are gifts from YOU. Thank You for my husband. Thank You for my job. In a year where many people lost positions, You have kept us both employed and I thank YOU. Thank You for growth. Thank you for allowing me to find my pen and to grow as a writer. Thank YOU for opening doors for me. Thank YOU for new friendships, rekindled friendships, and long term friendships that have withstood the test of time. Thank You for grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love. Thank You GOD! You are awesome! Amen."
Can I Get A Amen?
It's 2012, ya'll! Today I woke up feeling mega grateful and blessed. Why? Because I am. Do I have everything that I want? Nope. But guess what? I am blessed beyond measure. Let me give you a few examples:
1. I am one of God's favorite people. That's not vanity, it's just the truth. (Don't worry you are one of His favorites too.) God forgives me, acts as a hedge around me, and is always there when I call on Him. And with all of the mess that I get into daily, I know that I must amuse Him. That's gotta mean that I am one of His favs, right?
2. Life is not a crystal stair (and it never will be) but I am equipped with the skills I need to accomplish a lot in life. I am not over-the-hill or out of the game. I am fully equipped and covered in His armor to not only live life, but to live it abundantly! I can do whatever vision God gives me!
3. My family may have expanded but it is still in tact. Yep, my last name is still "Taylor." That is enough to run around the sanctuary and shout right now! I am so grateful that God has restored my marriage and family. Is it perfect? Nope. Some days we win, others we don't. But either way "we" are working on it.
4. Our professional lives are finally coming together. Our 9-5's are on similar shifts for the first time in a LONG time. (Somebody grab the prayer cloth because I was just slain in the Spirit.) For years, we've worked opposite and conflicting shifts. But now we are on the same general shift and I suspect that it is going to be great! Not only does that free up more face-to-face time but it also gives us a chance to pursue some personal goals as well. I am so excited to see what we will accomplish this year!
5. I am so excited about 2012. I am just giddy with the potential that this year presents. This year will be great! Not because it won't have challenges (because it will), but because I am able to deal with whatever this year throws at me. Heck, I've dealt with tons already. And I've learned that while life will give you bumps and bruises, God can see me through anything. And that is enough to shout on right there. So let me quit typing and start praising. Can I get an amen?
1. I am one of God's favorite people. That's not vanity, it's just the truth. (Don't worry you are one of His favorites too.) God forgives me, acts as a hedge around me, and is always there when I call on Him. And with all of the mess that I get into daily, I know that I must amuse Him. That's gotta mean that I am one of His favs, right?
2. Life is not a crystal stair (and it never will be) but I am equipped with the skills I need to accomplish a lot in life. I am not over-the-hill or out of the game. I am fully equipped and covered in His armor to not only live life, but to live it abundantly! I can do whatever vision God gives me!
3. My family may have expanded but it is still in tact. Yep, my last name is still "Taylor." That is enough to run around the sanctuary and shout right now! I am so grateful that God has restored my marriage and family. Is it perfect? Nope. Some days we win, others we don't. But either way "we" are working on it.
4. Our professional lives are finally coming together. Our 9-5's are on similar shifts for the first time in a LONG time. (Somebody grab the prayer cloth because I was just slain in the Spirit.) For years, we've worked opposite and conflicting shifts. But now we are on the same general shift and I suspect that it is going to be great! Not only does that free up more face-to-face time but it also gives us a chance to pursue some personal goals as well. I am so excited to see what we will accomplish this year!
5. I am so excited about 2012. I am just giddy with the potential that this year presents. This year will be great! Not because it won't have challenges (because it will), but because I am able to deal with whatever this year throws at me. Heck, I've dealt with tons already. And I've learned that while life will give you bumps and bruises, God can see me through anything. And that is enough to shout on right there. So let me quit typing and start praising. Can I get an amen?
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