#MarriagePrayer 3/30/12

Father, I love You.  I worship You and I thank You.  Father, I ask that You touch every marriage that is reading this prayer today.  Father, today I am being very specific.  Please grant every wife & husband the gift of health.  Father, motivate them to take care of their bodies because we can not do Your work if we are not first physically healthy.  Father, help those that need strength & motivation to remember that we can do all things through You.  Father, if anything in us is ailing, please touch it & heal it.  Father, we love You and thank You because we know that You hear our pleas.  Amen. Amen.

Letters to My Daughters - Part 1: God is...

So, I've been mulling over this blog for a few days.  Why? Because while the idea is heavy on my heart, it is a huge undertaking.  What do you say to your child?  Your daughter?  I want to say everything.  So after much contemplation I decided to break it up. So this is Part 1 - the most important part - faith.


Dear Asyen and Maya,

You know that when I write letters I very rarely write "dear."  I just never liked that as an opening word.  But you both are truly dear to me so today it's appropriate.

There is so much that I want to tell you and I am afraid I am going to forget something.  I don't want to leave anything out.  I'm not worried that I am dying or that I won't tell you, but I want to make sure I don't forget anything.  And you know me.  I process by writing.  So here goes... Part 1.

I honestly was never a fan of religion.  Let me be real honest.. I am still not a fan of religion.  But I am a fan of relationship.  I am a HUGE fan of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  That may sound trivial to call myself a fan, but I am a fan.  Here is why I wasn't a real organized religion person.  I spent the first 8 years of school at Catholic school.  While I am sure it was a great school, I never felt home there.  I don't look back on my time there - at school or at church - with fond memories.  Honestly, I always felt like a fish out of water.  What you probably don't know is that I spent almost every other weekend at my mom's baptist church.  But guess what?  I didn't feel any more comfortable there either.  Neither location was a spiritual home for me.  While I always believed, I believed from afar.  But I came to get to know Jesus after Asyen was born.   Later my faith took a huge leap when your daddy and I had some marital turbulence.   While that was (is) my journey and every journey is different, there are some things that i definitely want you to know.

1.  God is awesome.  Don't let anything ever tell you otherwise.  God is awesome, powerful, and omnipotent.
2.  God is loving.  God loves you and cares about you so much that He gave His only Son for you.  That is huge!  Amazing!  Wonderful!
3.  The road won't be automatically easy just because you love Jesus.  But it will be easier than if you don't love Jesus.  Why?  Because your ability to handle hard times will be different.  Because you love Him and He loves you, you will be better equipped to handle hard times.
4.  Don't let people stop you from getting to know God.  You may run across mean churches or mean church leaders, but you have to remember that they are people.  God is God.  By Himself.  In a field, in a city, in the bathroom, everywhere.. God is God and doesn't need any help from us.
5.  Listen to the Holy Spirit when he tells you something.  Don't worry about anyone else when God speaks to you.  Trust God.
6.  Talk to God often.  Thank Him.  Praise Him. Worship Him.  Ask Him.  Pray to Him.  Talk to Him.  Don't worry about form or fashion.  You don't have to do jumping jacks or run around the sanctuary.  Talk to Him often.  He is listening and always ready to help guide you.
7.  Sometimes God will say "no" or "wait" and you won't like it.  It's ok.  I didn't lke it either.  But when He says "no" it is for a good reason.  And when He says "wait, have patience, trust Him.  Rushing God doesn't work - believe me.  His timing is perfect even if it frustrates you.  (You will have to remind yourself of this principle often.)

This is a good starter.  I am sure that there is more that I will add but know this:  God is.  That is a great place to start.

I love you both so much.

~Mama

#MarriagePrayer 3/29/12

Today I am celebrating Godly marriage.  Covenant.  Listen and let it minister to you.  Leave a comment here about why you thank God for your spouse. 

"Father, thank You for my spouse.  Thank You for Your love wrapped up in human form.  Thank You for walking with us in this marriage because without You there would be no marriage.  Thank You for my friend, my love, my husband.  Amen."

#MarriagePrayer 3/28/12

Father, I come today asking You to really move in a powerful way this morning.  Father, please touch my family - both immediate and extended - and give them the strength they need to keep on keeping on.  Father,You know the desires of their heart.  Touch them.  Talk to them.  Please wrap Your arms around them so that they find comfort in You.  Father, right now many people are weary.  Many people are tired & in need of just a glimpse of the promises You have made them.  Just a glimpse so that they can keep running the race.  Jesus, I send up a special prayer for my spouse.  Father, You know the him for he is Your child.  Make his burden light today.  Let the hurdles that he faces be smaller today.  Give him confidence in Your power today.  Bless him out of left field so that he knows that it came from You and only You.  And if I could make 1 final request this morning, please heal my brother.  Father, please touch him & heal him either supernaturally or medically.  Please guide the doctors that are working with him & give my parents strength to endure.  Father, I thank You because I know that you hear my prayers.  May Your will be done.  Amen.  Amen.

#MarriagePrayer 3/27/12

Guess who isn't feeling well?  Yep.  Me.  So today's prayer is brought to you by Selene Olivaria,  She is a fairly new blogger and a great friend.  Check her out here.  Be blessed by her words this morning. 

"Lord Please Direct my path on this day, allow me to accept what you have for me, even if it's not what I want or understand. Continue to open my heart to your ways, Lord speak so loud today that I know it's your voice. Lord please forgive me for not doing the things that I know I should have done, forgive me for not saying what you wanted me to say, keep me so focused today that I wont be distracted by things that don't have my well being in mind.

Lord continue to place your arms of protection around me, guard my heart on today dear God, anything meant to hurt me or destroy me give me the strength to deal with what ever comes.

Lord I love you, for who you are, and I bless you for all that you have done thus far..keep me in your will! let those around me on my job and in my personal circle see YOU in me. Give me the ability to recognize the hands of the enemy, keep me from dangers seen and unseen. Lord you are so wonderful, and so merciful, so loving and I thank you Jesus for caring enough about me to die for me, and I don't take that for granted!!! I love you and I give your name all the praise and all the glory for you are so worthy. In Jesus Name... Amen."

#MarriagePrayer 3/26/12

Father, thank You for today.  Thank You for Your grace and mercy.  Thank You for Your outpouring of love.  Father, thank You for the gift of marriage. Thank You for declaring that man should not be alone & creating a helpmeet.  Jesus, help us to navigate all of the pitfalls that the enemy tries to throw at us.  Father, don't let apathy, resentfulness, a closed heart, infidelity, or any other trick of the enemy come between us.  Let us always remain a united front - united together & united w/You - resisting the enemy.  Father, thank You for protecting us as we trust You. We love You & thank You. Amen. Amen.

#MarriagePrayer 3/23/12

Father, this morning I am really seeking You.  Father, talk to me.  Guide me.  Direct me.  Father, give me the strength and the courage to do all that You want me to do.  And Jesus, make it plain for me.  Make Your plans so clear that there is no room for second guessing.  Father, talk to me about my marriage, my children, my job, my life, my ministry, everything.  I want everything that my hand touches to be in Your will.  Father I love You and bless You.  Amen.  Amen.

Then What...

Three weeks ago Trayvon Martin was gunned down for no reason.  Over the past week, there have been many rallies and marches demanding justice.  Today there is a march in Florida and this weekend there will be a rally in Nashville.  And after the marches are over, after the rallies are over, then what?

That is the question that no one can answer for me.  Then what?  What is the next step?  What do we do next?  See, I have a problem with rallying for rallying's sake.  It does nothing but lets a group of impassioned people have an outlet for the passion.  Unfortunately, it's not an outlet that invokes change.  See, I'm a journalist by trade.  I know how this is going to go.  We are going to have a rally.  During that rally we will  clap and cheer and "uh-huh" during the speeches.  The speeches will talk about how bad things are and what we theoretically should do.  When the rally is over, we will walk to our car feeling smug about how we did something.  And the next day, we would have really done nothing. 

You must understand that a rally or a march is step ONE.  You have a rally to get fired up then you act.  Action is step 2.  After the speeches are over, there should be voter registration tables, NAACP and Urban League sign up sheets, and phone trees created.   You should be able to sign up for a committee right then and there.  it sounds a bit like this: Brother, are you concerned about the voter id policy?  Step over here and let me get your number.  Sista, are you concerned about food deserts in urban neighborhoods?  Well, let me get your email address so we can plan on how to address this issue.  Sir, are you concerned about violence in your neighborhood?  Well, we are putting together a neighborhood patrol that will walk the streets to make sure that what happened to Trayvon doesn't happen again. Interested? Ma'am, are you concerned about the state of our schools?  Well, let me get your cell number so we can meet up before the next school board meeting.  See what I mean?  That's what I want to know... after the rally, THEN WHAT?

We have to stop doing what is easy.  The changing of the facebook status or profile pics is easy.  Going to a rally takes a bit more effort but is fairly simple.  Actually committing yourself to change is hard work.  Long term work.  And I am not saying that you have to do everything.  You don't have to do it all, but you do have to do something.  Something that positively affects change.  Trayvon's death should not be in vain.  His death should be our -the African-American community's- "arab spring."  It's a call to stand up and DO SOMETHING for the greater good.

#MarriagePrayer 3/22/12

"Father, thank You for all that You have planned for me.  I want to thank You for the thoughts that You have of me.  Father I want all that You have planned for me.  I know that I don't deserve any of it.  I haven't earned any of Your blessings.  But I am thankful that You keep blessing me everyday.  Father, as I try to grow and change to be more like You, I am thankful that You do not withhold blessings until we deserve them.  We can't earn Your grace, mercy, favor, and love. You give that too us freely.  So I say thank You for all that You are.  Thank You for loving me so much that You overlook my faults.  I love You and thank YOU.  Amen."

Spring Cleaning

So yesterday was the first day of spring.  Winter is gone.  Summer isn't here yet.  But spring has sprung and what are you going to do in this season?  Most folks change air filters, clean out closets and garages, and mop floors.  They spend weekends weeding the yard, planting flowers, and cutting the grass.  So after you do all of the improvements to your home and yard, are you doing any improvements to your marriage? 

What many people don't realize is that marriage has seasons too, and each season has work to be done.  To often we get complacent in marriage and think "Well, we're ok.  We aren't having any major difficulties so why rock the boat?"  I am not saying to make trouble or to look for things that aren't there.  You can be content but never be complacent.  Those are two very different things.  Content means that you are in a good place and satisfied with where you are but always open to growth and change.  Complacent means you really don't like where you are but it's "good enough."  "Good enough" will kill a marriage.  "Good enough" will choke the life out of your passion.  Let's be honest: "Good enough" never really is "good enough." 

 In this season, you need to take stock of where you are in your marriage. Take a look around. Do you have dust bunnies in your marriage that you need to sweep out? These "dust bunnies" could be resentfulness, a spirit of unforgiving, unresolved conflict. These "dust bunnies" could be lack of sexual touch, affection, or true communication. You have to get rid of the dust bunnies in this season.  Take a look at the show Hoarders.  No one ever purchased an item and said "wow, I am on my way to being a hoarder."  Nope, it started with one purchase after another after another until the home was overwhelmed.  Marriage dust bunnies are the same way.  You may be able to overlook one or two, but if you don't deal with them, then one day the dust bunnies will overrun your marriage. 

So take a moment this season to really sweep out the dust bunnies.  To really shake the dust off your marriage.  Throw open the windows and let the spring breeze flow through.  Remember spring is a season of freshness and renewing.  And who doesn't want that for their marriage?  I know I do.

#MarriagePrayer 3/21/12

"Father, thank You for today.  Thank You for another chance to grow.  Father, in this season remove everything around me that is dead.  Please prune things in me and around me that are dead and stagnant.  Father, please feed my with Your Word.  Fertilize my life with Your gifts.  Father, weed out everything that is stifling Your desires for me.  Father, I want to grow and bear much fruit in You.   So change me around in this season so that I may 'bloom' in You.  I love You and Thank You.  Amen.  Amen.

"He's Able!"

Sometimes you have to pause and reflect on how blessed you are.. then give Him thanks.

#MarriagePrayer 3/20/12

"Father, today I come to You with a spirit of gratefulness. I am overwhelmed by Your mercy. Jesus, I try to be more like You every day & i fall short everyday. But i am thankful that You wash me new every morning. Father, I am thankful that You have taught me the meaning of selflessness through marriage. Jesus, I never understood covenant & the importance of having a relationship w/You until my marriage was tested. So I want to thank You this morning for the painful lessons. Thank You for the hard times. Thank You for thinking enough of me to draw me closer to You, for never turning away from me. Father, I love You. Thank You. Worship You. & Trust You. Let YOUR will be done. Amen. Amen"

#MarriagePrayer 3/19/12

Father, at the start of this new work week, I just want to say thank You for the chance to be Your ambassador in the workplace. Father, I fall short in this area. I concentrate on the home and the church, but quite often I forget that I represent You EVERYWHERE I go. Let me better a better ambassador for You. Jesus, please bless my family. Please make our burden light. Father, remove all obstacles in our way as we rebuild and refocus our lives. Jesus, we love You and trust You. Amen. Amen."

A few weeks ago I read a wonderful post by Ilex Bien-Aime. The post was a candid discussion of debt and how it is way past time to get your money together. (Read it here. The piece will bless you.) And today I had one of those moments. I was totally frustrated. The plumbing in the house messed up again. And honestly, I was tired. I was tired of worrying about a new bill. I was tired of getting a plan in place and having yet another thing knock me off kilter. But it was my mama that put it all in perspective for me. She said, "Have you talked to God about it?" I said, "Nope, I'm a little mad at Him right now." (Quick shaking your head. You've been there. If not, I will save you a seat.) But my mama was persistent. She said "talk to Him anyway. The same God that had you painting rooms green, can certainly help you out now? I'll let Him know you'll be talking to Him soon." Ha! I have to laugh out loud at that. My mom referenced a particularly dark moment in my life and all I had to trust in was God. And guess what, He showed up and showed out. So that same God is still on the throne today. So while I may be frustrated by my fiscal mess. I still have much to be thankful for. Thank you, mama, for reminding me of that.

#MarriagePrayer 3/16/12

Father, I love You. In Romans 1:11 Paul says that he wants to visit Rome to not only impart a spiritual gift but so that they can encourage each other. Father, thank You for corporate prayer. Thank You for the body of believers. Thank You for sending people into my life to strengthen me when I falter. Father, I appreciate the friends, marriage ministry, church family, extended family that You put in my life to encourage our marriage. Father, We love YOU & thank YOU. Amen. Amen.

The Marriage Bed 202 - Velvet Rope

No, I am not a sex blogger. I am a marriage blogger and sex is part of marriage, therefore I am writing about sex. We've done Marriage Bed 101 and 102, now we are headed to 202. That's right, I'm taking it up another notch.

We've covered upgrading for your spouse. And we've covered boredom. Now we are going to the velvet rope region. Remember Janet Jackson's alblum of the same same. On that alblum she flipped it on the fans. Penny from Good Times was gone. This was fetish Janet. It's time to Velvet Rope your marriage.

What? Gasp? It's time. Now, let's talk about a few rules. Velvet Roping doesn't mean going beyond your limits. If you feel embarassed or opposed to something, you don't have to do it. But let's be honest: most folks got a freaky fantasy or two (or seven) that they would love to act out if someone gave them the chance. Well, you know that person that was standing next to you when you got married? Yea, your spouse. Most likely they are ready, willing, and able to indulge your lil' freaky fantasy.

You expected me to say "if you ask" after that last statement, didn't you? Umm, no. If you are going from vanilla ice cream (missionary) to chocolate(handcuffs), you really don't have to ask. Now if you are going from vanilla ice cream to tequila(threesome), you need to have a conversation. I don't suggest going from vanilla to tequila. That can put someone in shock. But if you go slowly (vanilla ice cream to chocolate to cake to white wine to red wine to margarita to tequila shots) you might have a better chance of getting closer to your freaky pinnacle.

The bottom line is if you are happy with where you & your spouse are sexually, then kudos. But if you've been in a relationship for a minute and the spark is starting to fade, then remix it. Don't get tricked into looking for sparks in other people (affairs), go behind your own Velvet Rope and rediscover your spark.

#MarriagePrayer 3/15/12

"Father, I thank You for all that You are. Not for all that You've done, but for all that You are. Father, You are amazing. You are awesome. You are wonderful. Too often we let trials cloud how we see you, but God You are awesome in our trials. God, You are amazing all day everyday. You love me & for that I am so grateful.

Father, I am asking that on today's #marriageprayer that You shift me. Take me to the next level in You. Father, not for my glory but for Yours. Father, move me,shift me, mold me, however you see fit. Remix me Lord so that I will be a blessing to others - starting with my spouse, my family, and Your kingdom. Father, I love You and thank You. Amen. Amen."

#MarriagePrayer 3/14/12

Father, thank You for today. Thank You for all that You are doing in our lives. Father, this morning I ask that You turn the clocks back in our hearts. Re-ignite our passion and love. Make us brand new again. Father, let our love be as fresh as it was on our wedding day. Father, let our passions and hope for the future be as overflowing as it was on our wedding day. Jesus, let us see our spouses w/fresh eyes again. Father, we thank You and love You. Amen. Amen.

#MarriagePrayer 3/13/12

Father, thank You for today. Father, thank You for my spouse. Thank You for sending me a companion to help me navigate this world. Father, I thank You for a spouse that is my friend and lover. I thank You for a companion who is able to hold my hand during trying times. I thank You for a spouse that is able to laugh with me during good times. I thank You for a spouse who puts the family first. Father, I thank You for thinking enough of me to send me a helpmate. Jesus, I love You & thank YOU! Amen. Amen.

#MarriagePrayer 3/12/12

"Father, thank You for today. Father, I just want to say thank You for my spouse. Thank You for sending me a wonderful man that has a serious work ethic. Father, I am so blessed that You have sent me someone who will work hard for the family. Father, let my husband's work be fruitful. Let his hard work open many doors. Father, please let his burden be light. Let him rest easy because he know that while he is working in the natural, You are working in the spiritual. Father, I love You & bless You. Amen. Amen."

The Marriage Bed 102 or Boom Chicka Bow-Bow

A few months ago I wrote about the Marriage Bed. Did you read it? If not, check it out here. That is Marriage Bed 101. Now we are on to Marriage Bed 102. That means we are going deeper. (It also means you've been warned.) Ready? Let's go.

I'm going to write this today from the woman's perspective because obviously I am pretty well versed in that gender. This lecture is taken from talking to lots of women - ok, my peers. Maybe I'll deal with men on another day, who knows? But today it is all about what the women want. Ok?

Now, there is this little myth that has been floating around for years. It is the myth that men want more sex - and freakier sex - than women. Well, I am here to tell you that it is NOT true. Women love sex. Lots of sex. And freaky sex (although that term is relative.) The difference is we really don't have to worry about it. Most women can walk outside stand on their front porch, say "who wants to have sex with me?," and be having sex 10 minutes later. Now, it might not be with the guy you want and it might not be great sex. But we can have sex at a moments notice. Men... not so much. Men spend days, months, years plotting to get booty. There is no guarantee that when men cast their net into the sea of females that they will catch any booty at all. So since we don't have to worry about sex, it appears as if we don't care about it as much. We don't worry about it but we do care about it.

So now that you know that we care about sex too, it's time that I told you a little secret. When we are amongst each other, sometimes the topic comes up. (It comes up more if large amounts of alcohol being poured.) The number one complaint I hear during these chats is that wives are bored. No, I am not talking about the newlywed. I'm talking about the long term wife. It's time for a new sexual game plan. I know that some men are thinking, "not my wife. I puts it down." Yeah, you do, I'm sure. But ask yourself if your honey has said any of these lines to you recently:

"Tell me what you want." "Is there anything that I can do for you?" "Wanna do something different?" Those are all nice ways of saying, "I know exactly what you are going to do from the foreplay to the finale. I'm an hoping that you will say 'yea, let's try something different' so that we can get out of this rut." Yep, those questions all mean that statement. She'll never ask you outright for a change up. Why? Because we aren't sure how you will take the suggestion. Some men can take a sexually assertive requests without it being an affront to their machismo. But some men can't. Men, hear me loud and clear: Just because she asks for a remix doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with what you are doing. It just means that it is time for a lil' switcheroo.

So tonight switch it up. Don't do the a, b, c in that order. Do the a, Q, b, then P. What! Cue the music: Boom chicka bow-bow

#MarriagePrayer 3/9/12

Father, remove any hardness from my heart. Remove any unforgiveness from my heart. Father, draw me closer to You. Help me to write Your word on my heart & keep it on the tip of my tongue. Father, help me to speak life & not death when it comes to my marriage. Jesus, I love You. I really love You. Thank You for so much but most of all for being Jesus. I love You & thank You. Amen. Amen.

#MarriagePrayer 3/8/12

Father, thank You for today. Thank You for the gift of my spouse. Father, please help us navigate all hurdles, both big and small. Jesus, endow us with the gift of forgiveness. While our feelings may be hurt, let us not hold onto petty strife or allow small matters to come between us. Father, when we are upset let us always remember that we are not only in covenant with each other but also with you. Father, let us not forget the love that we professed before You on our wedding day. Let that feeling wash over us in times of hardship. Father, we love You & thank YOU. Amen. Amen.

Too Funny! The Rules of Engagement for Side Pieces

There is a hilarious article on Blackloveandmarriage.com that you have to see. Too funny. Read and laugh. Or read and take note. (That depends on where your head is at and your level of triflingness.) Either way, read it! Here is a little taste:

"We, the people of common sense who–as grown folks–advise against becoming or seeking out a side piece (also referred to as dip), do hereby issue forth the following rules should you totally lose sanity and decide to be one anyway. Some articles will be in King James English, some in second person…perhaps if you read it in a variety of ways, you will get the message and avoid the issue all together:

Article 1: Do not ask me to meet my friends or family members. For what? You are a dip and you unfortunately do not get that privilege."

For the entire article click here.

#MarriagePrayer 3/7/12

Father, I am sorry for falling short. I am sorry for the mistakes that I make daily. I am sorry for the times where I knowingly do something when I know You have told me to do something else. Father, help me as I try to walk in obedience to Your will. Father, thank You for withholding punishment when I misbehave. And thank you for another chance to get it right. I love You & thank You for Your mercy. Amen. Amen.

Do You Have What It Takes?

I love wedding shows. I really do. I love looking at the dresses and seeing how people illustrate their love. From Say Yes To The Dress to Four Weddings, I really enjoy watching these shows. But they are just entertainment that tell you how to prepare for a wedding. There are no shows that tell you how to be married. I think that is where we do marriages a disservice. They show the fun highlights but don't give anyone tools to endure marriage.

"Endure" sounds so apocalyptic doesn't it? But let's be honest - it's not all roses. There are wonderful highs and some amazing lows. It takes a special kind of person to be able to weather all that comes with marriage. So do you have what it takes to be a spouse?

Can you open up and share yourself with another person? Sounds minor right? But it is true. Are you able to share all of yourself with your partner? Not just your PR agent that everyone meets, but the core of who you are? The reason this is so important is how can you ever accept someone fully if they've never seen you fully? You can't.

Can you pursue God's will for your life? Are you really ready to walk into all that God has placed in you? See, God placed all that vision in your life not for your own benefit but for the benefit of the kingdom. That kingdom starts with a little village - your family. So are you ready to go get it so that the blessings will pour down on your family?

Can you say no to temptation? Do I really need to say more? But can you resist all the tail that will be thrown at you the minute you say "I do"? What? You thought the ring was a booty repellent? Puh-lease! The ring is a magnet for booty. The ring increases your net worth. The ring says that somebody in this world thinks that you are so special that you were worth putting a ring on. That alone sets you apart from the rest. So can you say "no" to that?

Can you put the good of your spouse and family before everything else (except God)? Before your boys, before the sorority, before your church commitments, sometimes before your job... Can your immediate family come first?

Ladies: Can you keep a clean house? I know that is a generalization, but really in at least 8 out of 10 households the majority of housekeeping falls on a woman's shoulders. That doesn't mean that the men don't contribute, they do. But the MAJORITY of the housework will fall on you. Is your house dirty? Not cluttered. Cluttered in a nuisance but it can be picked up. Is your house nasty? Because if is nasty with you living by yourself, then it will nastier when you have a spouse and kids.

Men: Do you have maintenance skills? Yep, another generalization. But in my informal survey - which is mainly just my friends - the majority of maintenance jobs are on the husband's plate. Can you fix an overflowing toilet? Can you paint a wall? Can you find your way around a wrench? Is the lawnmower your friend? And if you answer no to all of the above questions, do you at least have the initiative to call someone to fix a problem?

And there are many more questions: Can you keep it hot in the bedroom? Can you forgive? Can you take care of someone at their worst and cheer for someone at their best? Can you celebrate your spouse's success without being jealous? Can you love?

The Beauty of My Tatts (Remix)

Proverbs 3:3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

Now, before I get started let me say that I know this verse is a metaphor, not to be taken literally. But the reason that I chose to open with it is because that is how I feel about my tattoos. People often ask me why I have word tatts and no pictures. For me the first reason is simple: Words speak to me. Every word that I have on my back I earned. For those of you who don't know, my back reads "Breathe, Strength, Passion, Wisdom, Obedience." I earned each of those words. Let's start with "Breathe." There was a point in time when I could not see into the future. I was so lost that I didn't really think that I would make it. Thinking about taking it one day at a time was even too much.. So I started concentrating on my next breath. I quit thinking days ahead. I quit thinking minutes ahead. I concentrated on the now and getting to my next breath. So I earned "Breathe." I have earned each of those words through self reflection and hard work. So while they are written on the "tablet of my heart," they are also written on my back as reminders of where I have been and what I have accomplished.

When people ask me if I will get any more tatts, I smile and reply "probably so." The reality is I hope so. I hope to always learn something new about myself, to stretch and grow, to meet challenges and survive them. As I write the new lessons on my heart, I am sure that I will write them on my body as well. Quite honestly, the only reason I haven't added more words is because I still struggle with the last word I added - Obedience. I quite often remind myself of a headstrong toddler.. I know what God wants me to do but I don't always follow it. Until I consistently answer "yes" to all of God's commands, I can't add another word to my tattood report card.

The second reason I only have words at this time is because the picture I want is the grand finale. To call it a picture seems to minimize its significance. I will get a grand tree, deeply rooted and reaching upward. Why? Because trees just do what they were designed to do - worship. (Thank you Alice Walker for this metaphor.) Trees weather all of the seasons - plenty and famine, sun and rain - all while reaching upward in worship. For me, trees epitomize the way we are meant to worship. Through good times and bad, we should always reach out to God. Once you see that tattoo on my back, you will know that I am finished with my artwork, and with this type of illustration of the lessons I have learned. Not finished learning, but just finished displaying my homework.

#MarriagePrayer 3/6/12

"Father, thank You for today. Thank You for Your grace & mercy. Father, I know that You strategically placed me & my spouse together for the good of the kingdom. Father, help us to achieve Your goals. Help us to yield to Your will. Help us to be exactly who You want us to be. Jesus, I know that all of these desires are not mine alone. You placed them in me. So help me to go after them. Father, let me remember that You gave me this vision for Your glory not for my own. So Jesus, Help my family to pursue all that You have planned for us. Remove all doubt from us & replace it w/courage. Father, but while we are chasing purpose, let us always remember to chase after You first. Father, keep us close so that as we chase Your will we never lose sight of You. Father we love You & Thank You. Amen.

So There Are a Few Changes Coming...

Look at the top of the page.. Yes, I am talking to you. Notice anything different? Yep, the name. Myriad That Is Me is now Myriad Marriage. What? Why? How? Well, I'm expanding and the Myriad brand is expanding. That expansion required a name change. Don't worry. I'm still going to give it to you straight. No sugarcoating. And while the title is Myriad Marriage remember my motto "Strong people create strong marriages which create strong families that lead to strong communities." It is my belief that it is all connected. So stay tuned.. I am expecting BIG things to happen here.. And you get to see it all first hand. Exciting, right?

#MarriagePrayer 3/5/12

Father, thank You for another week to get it right. Father, give us an honest tongue. Let us always have the courage to speak the truth to one another. Wrap our words in love. Give us wisdom to know how to speak the truth, but always let us speak the truth to one another. Father, help us to hear the truth & not take offense. Father, we love You & thank You. Amen. Amen.

#MarriagePrayer 3/2/12

Father, I love You & I thank You. Father, every morning I am right here giving You praise. Jesus help me to stay focused on YOU after I hit the send button on the computer. Help me to stay focused on YOU when I walk out my front door. Help me to stay focused on YOU when problems arise. Help me to be a better ambassador for You. Father, I love You and thank YOU not only at 7am CST but all day. Amen. Amen.